- Having a child-sized setup will help children navigate going to the toilet by themselves.
- Be attentive to their cues and keep track of any successes.
- Don’t use mistakes as a chance to punish or judge.
Both parents and children will benefit from teaching their child how to use the toilet. Add to that the fact that your child may have to use the potty before they enter preschool, and the pressure can overwhelm even the most sane parents. As a Montessori teacher, mom to three, and head of learning at Monti Kids, I’ve guided many families through this process with minimal drama by focusing on the Montessori approach to toilet learning.
What is the Montessori approach to toilet learning?
In Montessori, we refer to “potty training” as “toilet learning,” as a child will learn to use the potty through a natural acquisition of a skill just like crawling or walking.
You’ll find many different ways to teach a child to use the toilet. Offering rewards, which is a popular tactic, can be tempting. Rewarding or giving prizes can detract from the learning process.
Instead of external rewards, the Montessori approach to toilet learning focuses on a child’s intrinsic motivation and pride that stems from taking ownership of being able to use the toilet independently in those “I did it myself” moments.
The key is to watch for cues
All children are on their own unique path of development, so there’s no magical age to check toilet learning off your parenting to-do list. You must observe your child closely to identify both psychological and physical signs of readiness. This is a key part of Montessori.
Your child may be confident walking, which indicates that they have the muscles control necessary to learn toilet skills. It is possible that they use a dry diaper for longer periods of the day.
If your child is emotionally ready, they may be more interested in how other family members use the toilet.
Use a child-sized setup
It’s ideal to set up your child’s bathroom with a few child-sized items. I recommend preparing their space in advance — while they’re still in diapers — to allow time for the novelty of the new items to wear off. In this space, you could include a floor potty, extra underwear, wipes, a basket with several books, and a stool or faucet extender for independent hand-washing. Your child will be more willing to participate if you give them autonomy.
Prepare for the big day
Once you’re ready to officially transition your little one out of diapers, there’s no looking back. To avoid any confusion, you’ll need to be consistent with your approach. Find a weekend that you can stay at home if possible.
When your toddler wakes up on “the big day” it’s best to talk to them about the switch from diapers to underwear. Because it’s absorbent, I recommend offering thick cotton underwear. However, your child may still feel the wet sensation if they don’t get to the potty on time.
Next, make sure to remind your child every hour that it is time for the potty. As your child gets used to this new way of living, you will begin to notice patterns in the timing of their successes.
Use the moment when your child gets wet to learn and collaborate. This will make the whole family feel more relaxed and less stressed.
Monti Kids’ learning head is Stacy Keane. Find more resources surrounding the Montessori approach to toilet learning on the Monti Kids blog.