‘Harry sat obediently behind Meghan like a lapdog – that front cover made me puke’

I went to the supermarket recently to purchase an ointment for a stinging nettle rash.

It worked flawlessly – one application was all it took.

I wonder what medication is best to eliminate the “Harry and Meghan rash”?

Any suggestions would be appreciated. It’s extremely irritating and inflammatory and doesn’t seem like it will go away.

TIME Magazine’s disillusioned editors, who have named Harry & Meghan as their top 100 most important, might also require some medical help.

Even the cover makes me want to vomit.

As Harry obediently follows Meghan as the good lapdog that he is, Harry’s airbrushed appearance and thick ginger mop are too much for me to see.

I’m intrigued: I’d love to find out what makes this pair of sanctimonious, overprivileged, overpaid, and insanely useless couple in any way “influential”?

What has their relationship done for others’ good?

It could have been the Oprah interview in which the couple ridiculed their family to millions.

Harry’s grandfather the Duke of Edinburgh, was still in hospital.

Maybe it was when they signed lucrative deals with Spotify and Apple TV+, Netflix, or when they starred in the disgustingly cringeworthy video starring Melissa McCarthy, a comedian.

Okay, fine.

Perhaps Harry accepted an executive position at a tech start-up, despite not having any relevant qualifications other than his A-levels.

You are being very difficult!

I think this is my last guess.

I think it was when he left Buckingham Palace, his servants, silver platters, chauffeurs, royal jet, and 5* tax-payer funded lifestyle in pursuit of privacy with perhaps one of America’s most ravenously fame-hungry C-list celebrities?

Ah well. I’m not sure.

But, clearly the big wigs at TIME Magazine think these twits deserve the same title as Dorottya Redai, for example.

The pioneer in LGBTQ+ rights in Hungary. She stood against Prime Minister Viktor Orban’s anti-LGBTQ+ hate campaigns.

Ms. Redai isn’t royalty. She hasn’t used her family’s name to effect change. She’s not someone who can make a difference with huge amounts of money and nepotism.

These are the people you should recognize. They have real influence and make positive changes for good causes.

In describing the couple, the Magazine said: “In a world where everyone has an opinion about people they don’t know, the duke and duchess have compassion for the people they don’t know.”

Continuing: “They don’t just opine. They run towards the struggle.”

My response: the horses guarding Buckingham Palace spew less sh*t.

Enlighten me!

What is their struggle towards?

As Harry’s grandfather struggled in hospital, they slashed their family in a tacky tell-all trash-a-thon of the Queen and everything she’s tirelessly worked towards for 69 years.

These dullards could barely withstand the pressure for five minutes.

It could even be when the celebrity couple issued a wish-washy statement on the Afghanistan crisis, claiming to be left “speechless” and feeling “many layers of pain”.

Are they running “towards the struggle”?

They are not.

They instead urge their braindead followers not to tell anyone what they are doing to support organizations.

They love grandiose gestures of compassion that display their heroism. In reality, they are asking for others to help them.

So don’t tell me they run towards “struggle”.

Some might find this harsh.

Tell Twitter.

The tabby cat sitting on Harry’s head has attracted everyone’s attention. Others are also questioning their so-called influence.

The couple’s carefully planned and costly PR strategy is beginning to be seen by the rest of the world.

You can see the shocking reaction to this year’s National Television Awards if you are unsure of Brits’ opinions.

YouGov surveyed 1,667 UK adults to find their favourite royal. Prince Andrew currently leads at 34%, while Meghan Markle is only 26%, a dramatic drop since the start.

Adding to the hilarity and spiralling popularity, the audience at this year’s NTAs booed the couple as their interview with Oprah Winfrey was played.

The couple, who seem to live in la-la land must be convinced that they are globally revered icons that have the entire world giddy at their feet.

Why else would they humiliate themselves in that embarrassingly hubristic magazine cover that reveals everything we need to know about them:

Now, you must tell me where I can get that rash treatment.

I urgently need it.

Ryan-Mark would love to hear about your story. Email: [email protected]

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