You know the story (or maybe you don’t): A grown woman who looks like a child due to “proportional dwarfism”She tries to trick her husband into adopting her. The plot of “Orphan,”An oddly-misguided horror movie from 2009.
Paramount has taken this bizarre idea and extended it for the prequel “Orphan: First Kill,”Directed by William Brent Bell, and written by David Coggeshall.
“First Kill” takes the best part of its predecessor — its camp value — and dials things up to 11, delivering a movie that demands to be seen at rowdy theaters and sleepovers worldwide.
The film was shot in 2007 before the events that took place. “Orphan.” If you’ve seen the original film, the first half of “First Kill”Its predictability is dulling. Our tiny killer, Leena (Isabelle Fuhrman, “The Novice”), is locked in the Saarne Institute in her native Estonia. Her “first kill”It actually happened before the film began. Saarne met Saarne when she joined a family, then murdered them. (Fingers crossed that an “Orphan: First Kill 2 — The Firstest Kill.”)
Leena, after breaking free from Saarne adopts the identity of Esther Albright, an American girl who has disappeared. Her hospitalization scars are covered with her trademark ribbons. She explains her Eastern European accent by claiming she was abducted and taken to Russia. Her devastated new family is only too happy to believe her outrageous story.
It seems like she’s hit the jackpot: Her new parents, Tricia (Julia Stiles) and Allen (Rossif Sutherland, “Possessor”), are old-money Connecticut residents. Their first scene is when they see Gunnar (Matthew Finlan), their son. “My Fake Boyfriend”(), win a fencing competition. It looks just like the first film, and Esther must go undiscovered through it all. “Orphan”It will happen. But then — a delicious twist.
For certain millennials, “Orphan”It has a camp cachet. It was hilarious to watch with our friends, and we giggled as Leena, a 9-year-old girl tried to seduce her adoptive father. “First Kill”This film tries to tap into that energy. The second film seemed to have a better understanding of its absurdity than the first. When your film is based around a bloodthirsty villain who has been medically cursed to look exactly like a child (a disability that does not seem to actually exist), there’s no virtue in playing it safe.
As a result, “First Kill”It is full of delightful idiosyncrasies. The Albrights’ wealth is signaled by a collection of Fabergé eggs. Leena meets a feral mouse in their Connecticut home. Gunnar, a well-off man, uses a flip phone to keep track of time. The deception is led by a child therapist and a pet parrot. And Leena’s daddy issues are center stage. She fondly recalls a 1938 scene as she watches the film’s beginning. “Poor Little Rich Girl.” In it, Shirley Temple’s character sings to her father, “Marry me and let me be your wife.”
Of course, if you’ve seen the original film, it’s difficult to watch “First Kill”It was not something you thought about constantly. Fuhrman plays the role again, even though she was only five years old when the film was made. She is now 25, however. Fuhrman could be cast as Leena/Esther by the filmmakers, who mainly use makeup and forced perspectives. Fuhrman is an excellent actor but she doesn’t have the face of a third grader like any other healthy 25-year old woman. The on-screen result is slightly uncanny, though it does make the whole child-who-is-secretly-a-grown-woman thing more convincing.
Bell and Coggeshall created a film that seems aware of its own absurdity. This may be on purpose: Bell’s “The Boy,” about two old, wealthy creeps who treat a large doll like their human son, is another modern camp classic, and Coggeshall wrote for MTV’s very meta “Scream”Television series. But “First Kill” owes an enormous hat tip to Julia Stiles, whose stellar, icy performance sells some of the film’s most ludicrous moments with aplomb.
The delights of “Orphan: First Kill” in full would require spoilers, but know that those delights are many, at least if you’ve got the requisite sick sense of humor. This film is hardly scary — you can see every kill coming from a mile away — but it is still unquestionably horror. This is the best part about this genre. “First Kill”The final chapter gives the protagonist a fitting ending. Yes, it is problematic (see: playing fast and loose with the concept of dwarfism), but it also takes place in an alternate universe where rich kids have flip phones and dour therapists have parrots.
It is wonderfully impossible to take this film seriously, meaning it’s best enjoyed with others. Paramount+ subscribers need to hurry up and get on their couches with the biggest bowls of popcorn, as well as their most funny friends. Unlike the families who’ve welcomed Leena Klammer into their homes, you won’t regret it.
“Orphan: First Kill”Opening in US theaters, available on demand and on Paramount+ Aug.