You should never bad-mouth your partner’s ex to their kids.
Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in family dysfunction, said bad-mouthing the other parent will only drive the child away.
“Their loyalty is likely to be with their parent,” She stated. “And if it isn’t, the relationship risks being built on shared dislike rather than positive things like shared interests, respect, and emotional safety.”
Ray Sadoun, a mental-health specialist who works for UK-based provider OK Rehab, said the child might take those criticisms personally and could feel like you don’t respect them.
“Even when tensions are high, try your best to stay neutral when discussing the other biological parent. In the best case scenario, you would be saying nice things about the other parent to make the child feel safe and accepted in your home,” He said.
Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of books including “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do,” agreed.
“Sometimes, stepparents have their own feelings to work through when it comes to the other biological parent,” She said. “Whether they have some jealousy about the fact that their partner has to remain in a parenting relationship with the ex or they are angry that the other parent didn’t treat the family well, saying negative things about that person hurts kids.”