I lay on my porch, my thin coat covering me and feeling the chill of the morning. It was unbelievable that this was happening to me, and I was sleeping on the street.
How could this have happened? What had happened to the life I’d dreamed about, the life I’d been reaching for when I married Gavin six years ago? That dream had turned into a living nightmare.
When I met Gavin, I was working as a paralegal at a prestigious law firm. I was a good worker and became the assistant to the senior partner. I earned a good salary, and the future looked bright,
I even dreamed of going to law school, becoming a lawyer myself! Gavin was a third-year law student who worked at the firm during the summer. I instantly fell in love with him.
He was handsome, funny, and vibrant, while I was quiet, serious, shy. His kindness and generosity humbled me. He asked me out one night, and I agreed, even though I was wary about going out with a younger man.
Gavin blew me away. He made me feel beautiful, charming, fascinating, and sexy. It was the best thing I have ever experienced in my life. He was my best friend. I became his lover and discovered that I was pregnant two months later.
Source: Unsplash I was frightened and shocked.| Source: Unsplash
I was frightened and shocked. Gavin offered to marry me. Being a single parent was not something I believed I could handle. I agreed, and I think that I mistakenly took my relief for joy.
We were married in two months and had our little Jacky five months later. She was gorgeous! It was devastating to have to leave her at daycare and go back to work.
Gavin was already studying hard for his bar exam. He complained that Jacky’s constant crying made it challenging to concentrate. Gavin was quite pleased with her baby, and his complaints about Jacky’s crying were purely nerve-related.
He was in a state of rage when he saw the bar exam results. “It’s your fault!” He shouted. “If that brat didn’t scream all night, I could have passed!”
Even though he wasn’t his age, we began dating. Source: Unsplash.| Source: Unsplash
I didn’t answer him. Knowing that answering only fed his rants, I just lowered the volume and kept my mouth shut. Gavin crossed the kitchen to my bag on the counter and searched for it without any by-you-leave.
I was stunned and didn’t speak a word. He pulled out some cash and walked out the door. That night he returned home smelling of cheap perfume and beer.
We all deserve better than anyone who makes us feel less than ourselves.
This became our life’s pattern. Jacky would drop me at daycare so I could go to work. When I got back, Gavin would be glued to the TV with a beer bottle in his hand. After dinner, he would take money from my purse and go to the pub.
My salary, which I thought was very generous, was no longer sufficient when I was funding Gavin’s drinking habits. I was cutting back on Jacky’s and my spending.
Source: Unsplash. I told Gavin that night.| Source: Unsplash
“I think you need to get a job,” I told Gavin one night. “What I earn is just not enough.”
“I’m studying for the bar exam,” Gavin responded. “That’s a full-time job in itself, not that a little paralegal like you would understand!”
I ignored the insult. “When is the bar exam?” I inquired. “Maybe I can help?”
“HELP?” He shouted. “Who do you think you are? You’re a LOSER, and it’s your fault I didn’t pass the first time. Maybe you WANTED me to fail!”
Gavin blamed him for my failure at the bar exam. It was the worst argument in a marriage that had been filled with ugly arguments.
It was the ugliest argument of them all in a marriage filled with ugly arguments. Gavin got a job in the past year, but I never spoke about it again. I then saw the envelope from my bar association.
“Gavin?” I asked hopefully, “You’ve received the results from the bar association?” He was sitting on the couch in his underwear, nursing a beer, and suddenly the bottle was flying towards my head, and I ducked.
“You did it, didn’t you?” He screamed. “You and your boss fixed it so I’d fail again!” I was terrified and horrified by his violence. It was unbelievable to me that I was frightened and cringing in my own home.
Gavin was pushing me. “You ruined me! You probably have it off with that disgusting old boss of yours, and maybe that brat isn’t even mine!”
Gavin began to take money out of my purse. I couldn’t believe what was happening.| Source: Unsplash
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It must have been the drink. I resolved to speak with him the next day calmly. I got up earlier than usual and made him some coffee. “Gavin,” I said, “wake up; we need to talk.”
He sat up on the bed and stared at me with sullen swollen eyes. “What do you want?” He grunted.
“There have to be some changes around here,” I said. “You need to find a job, and as of today, you pick up Jacky from daycare in the afternoons.”
Gavin didn’t say a word. “I love you, Gavin, but we can’t live like this. You have to get your life in order.”
Gavin was getting more drunk | Source: Unsplash
That evening when I came home, the door wouldn’t open. I tried to enter my key. “Gavin!” I called. “Can you please open the door? There’s something wrong with my key!”
“No, there isn’t,” I heard Gavin say it. “You’re not coming in.”
I was panicked. “Open the door!” I cried. “I need to give Jacky her dinner!”
“I’ve taken care of everything,” I screamed. “Do you think I need you? You have a lot to learn, There are going to be some changes around here, and you won’t like them.”
“Do you think I need you? You have a lot to learn!” | Source: Unsplash
“Gavin, open the door!” I screamed.
“No!” He laughed. “You have a lesson to learn!”
And I did, shivering on that porch all night with my daughter out of reach, I learned a valuable lesson, but I don’t think it was the one Gavin intended to teach me.
When he opened the door for me to dress and work, I was a different woman. First, I checked on Jacky, and then I walked back to the kitchen.
The next day I kicked Jacky out. Source: Unsplash Gavin told me.| Source: Unsplash
“Get out,” I told Gavin. “Pack your things and go.”
He looked at me, his mouth wide open. “You have twenty minutes, and then I’m calling the police.”
“You think you can kick me out? I have rights, and you need me!” Gavin screamed. “You’re nothing without me!”
“No, Gavin, you’re the one who is nothing without me!” I said it as I slammed on the front door in my face.
Source: Unsplash That was two years ago.| Source: Unsplash
That was two years ago. Today Jacky will start primary school. I’ll be starting law school. In the last two years, I have rebuilt my life. My daughter and I have a great life. It’s only going to get better.
Gavin’s mother, who frequently calls to inquire about her granddaughter, said he has been drinking more than ever but continues to refuse work and is currently living in a shelter. He said that I was the loser.
What lessons can we draw from this story?
- Relationships in which one partner works and the other lazes are not compatible. Gavin refused work and didn’t do any housework.
- Everyone deserves more than someone who makes them feel less than they are. Gavin got the upper hand by making Gavin’s wife feel inferior and worthless. However, he was the only one who had any value.
This story is worth sharing with friends. This story might bring joy to their lives and encourage them.