- For 48 years, I was the house’s main launderer.
- After retiring and being COVID-19 isolated, I realized that I wasn’t doing anyone’s laundry anymore.
- Now, my husband and I do our laundry together.
For over 48 years, I was the primary launderer in our household. It wasn’t something that occurred to me to change. My job has been more challenging over the years as washing machines have become more sophisticated, and the types of clothing fabrics have increased in variety.
As our children grew up, my clothes became more expensive and my laundry techniques more precise. I realized that I prefer to do my laundry separate from my husband’s. It’s possible to blame COVID-19, retirement, or just plain being lazy, but the title of household laundry washer is no longer mine.
This has made me less subservient to my husband and less resentful. It has helped my husband see that clean clothes come from hard work and not magic.
Before that, I was the one in charge of the entire thing.
Before I made the announcement that our laundry would be split, I had been doing everything from start till finish.
I would then transfer my husband’s hamper contents to a larger container, carry it downstairs, separate lights and darks and examine his pockets to find loose change. Next I would clean up any stain-stick areas, wash, dry and separate my laundry from his. Next came folding and carting all of it upstairs. Finally, I placed his clothes on the dresser, where they remained for many days.
When we lived in midrise condos, I would drag the entire hamper down to the basement laundry room and read magazines between the spin and dry cycles. After our first marriage, there was a time when I took everything to the neighborhood laundromat. Although I was young and married, I didn’t question the fact that it was my responsibility. However, I hated going there.
My husband didn’t realize how much effort was put into our clothes each week. He is now more aware.
I decided it was time to do separate laundry
I was fed up with my unofficial job title and decided to ignore it. I also stated that I would only do my laundry. I felt less servile and unappreciated by this small declaration.
My husband shrugged at first and eventually decided that it wasn’t an issue. I was interested in how clean towels and sheets were, so I agreed to keep washing them.
My laundry routine is simple. I wash my clothes every five days. I separate the light from the dark and use a little detergent. My husband waited for eight days after I started to bluff the first week.
He carried his heavy rattan hamper up the 13 steps to our bedroom and loaded it into the washing machine. He put half a cup of liquid detergent in the soap dispenser. He selected a medium-level setting with warm-water that would last for 60 minutes. He didn’t do any pocket or stain checking.
Finally, the laundry was transferred to dryer. It was then moved upstairs where it was greeted by a new batch.
He started to make comments about me not doing his laundry after the first few weeks. But he still does his own laundry so it seems we may have created a new pattern. He waits until his basket is full.
Now, I take my spare time to do yoga or go for walks in the forest. This is something I love more than folding clothes for others.