Everybody feels anxious at times. Anxiety affects around eight million people.
It can be crippling, but Kamran Bedi, a well-being coach and anxiety practitioner, believes there are many things we can do to manage it.
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He says: “People talk about having a lack of confidence, low self-worth and of experiences that have left them feeling as though they can’t move forward in their lives.
“But having anxiety doesn’t have to be something that ruins your life.”
According to the NHS, anxiety can be experienced at times that are normal. However, if you feel anxious or if you have any other symptoms, you should consult your doctor.
Here, Kamran, author of new book The Anxiety Antidote, explains how to put a stop to anxious thoughts . . .
What is anxiety?
There are two aspects to your autonomic nervous system — the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system.
When the sympathetic nervous systems senses a threat, it will distribute energy accordingly. Your body and brain will be shifted into a different state. “fight or flight” response.
The “threat” could be external (what’s happening around you in your life) or internal — your thoughts.
Your body will react as if the threat is real. It will prepare you to face it (fight), or flee from it (flight).
The parasympathetic system assists your body in calming, centering, relaxing, digesting, and assisting with returning to. “normal”.
Both should be harmonious. However, if someone experiences too much stress or worry, negative thinking, and anxiety they might end up activating their sympathetic side which can lead to imbalances.
Try these three ‘anxiety-antidotes’
These techniques will teach you how to control your thoughts and anxiety.
To improve your skill, pick one and practice it for at least 30 days.
To take control of anxiety-inducing thoughts patterns, it is essential to be proactive and consistent.
Antidote 1 – The best-case scenario
Are you imagining scene after scene of anxiety in your mind?
Make positive changes in your mind by thinking of five to ten scenarios that you can create.
For example, if you think you’re going to act or look stupid in a social situation, change the narrative.
Recall a time when you were able to enjoy social interaction and ease.
Re-create this scenario in your head.
To help you train and refocus, imagine yourself doing that again.
You can mentally create a calmer moment if you don’t remember it.
Antidote 2, The alarm code
You can make a huge difference in your mental and physical well-being by changing the flow and pattern you use to breathe.
You can sit comfortably. Take a slow, deep, slow breath. Inhale and exhale fully to open your lungs.
Each inhale and exhale should be counted 15 times.
Keep your attention on the inhale and the breath.
You should make each inhale more long and deeper. Inhale deeply between each breath.
Inhale softly through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth.
Focus your breaths deep into your lungs and aim to inhale into your stomach.
Allow your belly expand and rise with each inhale. Then, exhale slowly and allow it to fall and recede.
You can shift your attention away from worrying thoughts by allowing your mind to flow with the rhythm of your breathing.
Antidote 3 – The direct your body method
When you focus on the things that are bothering you, uncomfortable feelings will usually disappear.
Mentally pinpoint what you feel in your body when you’re anxious.
Churning gut? Are your hands shaking? Legs like jelly?
Notice the movement of these sensations and identify any patterns — forward and back, round and round, or perhaps pulsing? Is it rapid or slow? Are you looking for a constant or an intermittent answer?
Now, direct your attention to the place where you feel the emotions and change the way that you feel.
You can take, for instance: “make it pause”, “make it still”, “make it reverse”, “make it weak”, “make it softer”.
- The Anxiety Antidote by Kamran Bedi (Watkins Publishing, £12.99) is out now.
‘It’s a struggle to leave the house’
Joanna Hillcock (42), a teaching assistant, lives with Stuart Hillcock (42) in Kings Hill Kent.
They have three children – Oliver, 11, Luca, nine, and five-year-old Leo. Joanna:
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“I began feeling anxious at seven years old. Mum took me to see a doctor. We were told that I had a heart condition. “schoolitis” and just didn’t want to go in.
I found social situations difficult. I’ve been prescribed antidepressants with different degrees of success. I used Kamran’s breathing techniques a lot.
Just going to the shops with my children gives me anxiety, as I’m leaving the safety of my house.
Instead of allowing myself overwhelm, I took deep breathing and pushed my thoughts aside until they were very small.
I felt calmer, more in control.
The best-case scenario did resonate with me as I’m a worst-case scenario person.
I was able to manage my anxiety with the techniques.”