WHERE are we not connected to a smartphone?
According to research, people in the UK spend more than three and a half hours online each day – more than an hour longer than those in Germany and France.
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And even if you have your scrolling under control and don’t lose hours watching Instagram Reels, the chances are, the second you get a message notification, you grab your phone and get sucked in.
“We’re all so connected with each other,”Consultant psychiatrist Dr Ian Nnatu acknowledges that phones have been used, “a huge force for good”Many ways.
However, when you’re stuck answering messages day and night, the pressure to respond to everything can become all-consuming.
Here’s how to manage your digital availability so your pinging phone doesn’t totally rule your life…
Decide your new norms
You can feel happy if you have constant notifications on your phone. However, it can also make you feel overwhelmed.
“One of the challenges we have in society now is we don’t have accepted norms about how quickly we respond to messages,”Dr Nnatu shares his views.
“Is it fine to wait till after lunch or perhaps the following day to reply?”
This pressure to answer questions right away can lead to anxiety and stress.
But take a breath – you don’t have to reply immediately.
“Set boundaries with your friendship groups and work colleagues about what’s acceptable in terms of how quickly you respond,”Dr. Nnatu.
This could be a way to decide on a reasonable time frame for non-urgent messages.
So if it’s your boss, perhaps replying to an email within 30 minutes is fair, while with friends, 24 hours might be fine.
Try sticking to your new time frames to reinforce them, so those on the receiving end will adjust to your new norm and come to expect it – just give them time!
Reshape Expectations
If you’re the one desperately waiting on a text back, and the happy buzz that comes with it, try to wean yourself off feeling that way by “reflecting on what might be going on with the other person”, advises Dr Nnatu.
“Don’t jump to conclusions if you don’t get a response six hours or 12 hours later.
“Sometimes, we project our feelings onto the other person without understanding the context.
“They may be taken away to do something else. They might be in a work situation or just completely uncontactable.”
And that’s fine!
If you don’t want to be chased for an instant response, don’t expect it of others – we’ve all got to help break the cycle.
Protect your work/life balance
Clearly dividing work and home can be tricky, especially if you’re part-time or you work from home some days.
Being clear when you will and won’t be available to answer emails and messages can be a game-changer, though.
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“It’s important people’s working hours are protected,” says Dr Nnatu, adding that presenteeism and being contactable out of hours can actually impact a company’s bottom line.
“If you’re not taking care of your employees’ mental health, that’s going to affect productivity and output.”
You might not control your company’s work/life balance policy, but you can still take simple steps to protect yours.
For example, noting in your email signature the hours you do check and respond to emails, so people don’t expect you to reply to them at 10pm.
If it’s family and friends you need a break from, set up the “Do not disturb”Function on your smartphone, so you can receive notifications when and where you want them.
Make New Habits
We all know we should keep phones out of the bedroom and away from the dinner table, but are you actually doing it?
“Everybody has to try to ensure they have some boundaries,” advises Dr Nnatu.
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“That could include putting limits on screen time or reducing how much time you have with particular apps, turning off notifications.
Access certain platforms through a different device, such as your PC or laptop, instead of your phone, so you have to go through the process of actually logging in to access the apps you use most and receive the most alerts from.”
Dr Nnatu also recommends filling up your leisure time with activities that don’t involve messaging your mates or scrolling notifications.
“Do more sports, meet people face-to-face, go outdoors,”He says.
Use FOMO Management
“A big issue is FOMO (fear of missing out) and the idea that if you’re not on all the time, and available and ready to respond, then you’ll miss out on something,”Dr. Nnatu.
Overcoming FOMO involves changing your mindset and accepting you just can’t do everything, he explains: “There will always be something happening and you can’t make yourself available 24 hours a day.”
You don’t want to have a negative impact on your mental and physical health.
“As psychiatrists, we are seeing more and more people coming in with adrenal fatigue, burnout and stress because of this 24-hour lifestyle, and feeling wired – generally not feeling refreshed and not being able to recharge their batteries.”
Choose the events and activities that are most important to you, and then prioritize downtime between them.
Speak “no”The power of the other stuff can make a big difference for your health and well-being.
Be aware of your own limitations
“Pay attention to signs that your phone usage is problematic,”Dr. Nnatu.
There aren’t specific guidelines on screen time, but experts recommend no more than two hours a day for children.
These are the tell-tale signs
- You reach for your phone when you’re lonely or bored.
- You should check your device every night.
- You become anxious when you can’t find your phone.
- A loved one is raising questions about how much time you’re spending online.
- Your internet usage is interfering in your personal and professional life.
- While driving, check your smartphone.
“Something that’s common to all addictive behaviours is loss of control.
“When you feel you don’t have as much control as you did over a certain behaviour, you can’t take it or leave it.
“That’s when alarm bells should start ringing – when you try to stop it and you find you can’t,” says Dr Nnatu.
Be realistic
We need our phones for everything – from ordering food to organising diaries and booking tickets.
It is crucial to manage our need for notifications.
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However, if you feel that things are getting out of control, talk to your doctor. He can refer for you to NHS talking therapies and cognitive behavioural therapy.
“It might be that compulsive mobile phone usage is masking an underlying problem and is a way of you trying to manage underlying anxiety, worry or stress,”Explains Dr Nnatu.
“The key with mental health is always being self-aware, recognising things – and getting help early, before things escalate.”
What the Ping is doing to your Brain
“Notifications give us a hit of dopamine – a chemical in the brain associated with reward and pleasure,”Dr. Nnatu explains.
“Posting and messaging becomes compulsive, because it’s rewarding.
“The more likes and messages you get, the more positive you feel.”
This can lead to addictive behavior.