Good relationships are all about balance—hence the old “opposites attract” adage. People who are disorganized and spontaneous tend to be drawn to pragmatic planners. An naturally shy person may feel attracted to charismatic socialites.
This yin-and yang dynamic can often translate to joint finances. Money spenders and money savers might seem like an incompatible pair, but it’s a surprisingly common (and successful) match.
It’s all about taking the right approach to managing assets.
Love and the Illogical
We often classify “savers”And “spenders”As opposites. But in reality, they’re better categorized as complements. If they work together, these personalities can enhance and fortify each other.
A saver might choose to invest in retirement and emergency funds over living in the present. They might reap the benefits of their foresight later on, but they are unable to find the same joy in the moment. Spenders can help remind savers that there’s more to life than planning for the future.
Spenders, on the other hand, can put their future at risk by not planning. They help their less frugal counterparts stay grounded, focused, and on track. Couples can become overwhelmed by debt and stress if they spend too much. Too much saving can lead to both spouses feeling bored and unhappy.
The combination of complementary perspectives creates a system that balances both the partners and ensures that they are equal. But since time has a sneaky way of magnifying differences in opinion, it’s crucial for these couples to maintain healthy, open communication.
RELATED:Top Tips for Communicating with a Defensive Person and How to Actually Solve the Problem
Making Money Mash Ups Easier
As couples develop and make greater financial and emotional investments, finances can become a source of contention. Money is a major stressor in relationships. But it doesn’t have to be.
These helpful tips are worth following (and others). RegularlyYou can reduce the stress of financial worry by using ).
1. Be open with your financial (and emotional) baggage
We are the product of our upbringing. Even though we all process and act differently from childhood, there is a connection. These experiences should be shared with your partner.
Money can be an extremely personal topic. Constant spenders can make savers feel guilty, while those who are diligent savers may feel abandoned. An awareness of how one’s childhood might affect their money habits can help take some of the personal affronts out of financial differences.
Doing this alone won’t stop financial issues from happening, but it can at least make them more explainable.
2. Have Regular Money Dates (We’re Talking Monthly)
Don’t forget dinner and a movie. If you’re looking to increase intimacy and trust, then you’ll need a money date. A money date is a planned time for a couple to sit down and review all things financial—current assets, concerns, goals, etc.
It’s important to start with the basics when it comes to money dates. Assuming you’ve already unpacked all your financial and emotional baggage, it’s best to start with financial beliefs, goals, and concerns. What is the value of each partner and what are their investment preferences? What is each partner’s financial risk tolerance? What are their long-term and short-term goals?
Don’t be so quick to call this convo one-and-done, either. People change and so do financial beliefs. Regular check-ins can prevent bigger miscommunications down the line. Next, it’s time to start budgeting.
3. Actually Compromise On Spending Plans
Money misunderstandings can be resolved by creating a weekly or monthly budget and spending thresholds BeforeThey create an argument. In this situation, compromise is key. It is important that no one should feel like they have to leave. “won.”
Both parties will feel vindicated, but they may also feel bummed out for their own reasons. This is the natural result of being held accountable and being pushed outside of your comfort zone. You might find it strange at first. You might eventually like it. “normal”Better than the old one.
Remember, this is a group effort. Too much responsibility for one person can lead to anger, resentment and alienation. And if you can’t manage to find your footing as a team, then try calling in reinforcements.
RELATED:A financial planner shares the top reasons most people fail to budget
4. Seek Outside Help
We would all be able, in a perfect world to overcome communication problems with some hard work and empathy. But a perfect world this is not, and it’s hard to see the forest for the trees in the middle of a heated debate.
There is nothing wrong in asking for help if you and your partner have trouble finding common ground. The APA’s latest Stress in America SurveyAccording to the study, 72% of Americans feel stressed about money in the past month. Financial problems don’t make you irresponsible or lesser than—it’s Normal.
Why should financial therapy be any other? This type of counseling offers a neutral view to an otherwise volatile subject. An unbiased third party can untangle the emotional from the objective—or even introduce the two whenever necessary.
Finally, it’s important to remember that while money is an important part of life, it’s not life itself. If a couple is determined to maintain a responsible, honest relationship, there is no financial obstacle too large to overcome together.