Holly Madison was suicidal during her relationship with Hugh Hefner

• Holly Madison stated that she had once considered suicide in her relationship with Hugh Hefner.
• “I was in this cycle of misery,”The reality star spoke out in a new episode “Secrets of Playboy.”
• Madison says Madison’s suicidal thoughts were triggered by her depression. “never”It lasted for many years, but it had an effect on her.

Holly Madison stated that she had once considered suicide after a difficult time in her relationship to Hugh Hefner.

“The drama between me and the other women became so bad. Like, imagine having sex with somebody in a room full of women who hate you and you know they’re all talking shit about you,” Madison recalled in a new episode of A&E’s “Secrets of Playboy” series.

Madison claims that Madison was depressed due to the conflict between Madison and the other women living in the mansion.

“There was a point where I felt really low. Like I didn’t feel like I had any options,”Madison spoke fondly about her relationship with Hefner who died in 2017 from natural causes at the age of just 91.

“There was a point in time, a couple years in, after we had gone out, and after we had all been in the bedroom, everybody was leaving and walking out, and I was in the bathtub, and I just wanted to drown myself,”She continued.

Madison added: “I just felt like I was in this cycle of misery. And those feelings would never last long, but you have those moments, like, ‘What did I gain from this experience?'”

The “Down the Rabbit Hole”However, the author continued to say that she “always had that faith”That “something”Her experience at the Playboy mansion would be worthwhile.

Madison, Hefner’s main girlfriend, lived at the mansion between 2001 and 2008. She is open about her struggles with Hefner, as well the negative aspects of her Los Angeles life.

Another clip is from “Secrets of Playboy,”The reality star known as the atmosphere at the Mansion “cult-like.” Madison said that she and the other women “were all kind of gaslit”Hefner is expected to be a thought leader “as this really good guy.”

“And you started to feel like, ‘Oh, he’s not what they say in the media. He’s just a nice man,'”She said.

She revealed that women who lived at the Playboy mansion were required to stay up until 9 o’clock every night and encouraged them to do so. “not have friends over,”And they weren’t “really allowed to leave”Except for major holidays, it is not allowed.

Madison said even that Hefner told Madison to quit her job as a waitress because it made her feel inferior. “jealous.”As her main source for income, she relied on the $1,000 per-week allowance that the women in the mansion received.

Insider asked for comment from representatives of Hefner’s estate, but none were immediately returned by them. Cooper Hefner, Cooper’s son, did respond to Insider’s earlier requests. Tweeted a statement in support of his fatheron Monday ahead of the docuseries’ premiere.

Cooper was the “salacious stories”His father “a case study of regret becoming revenge.”

Playboy shared a statement previously with Insider that emphasized its commitment towards supporting and elevating women.

“Today’s Playboy is not Hugh Hefner’s Playboy. We trust and validate these women and their stories and we strongly support those individuals who have come forward to share their experiences,”This statement is read in part. “As a brand with sex positivity at its core, we believe safety, security, and accountability are paramount. The most important thing we can do right now is actively listen and learn from their experiences.”

“Secrets of Playboy” premiered Monday on A&E. The trailer can be viewed below.