Zoe’s story, “Removed,” has been seen by millions of people.
It was previously shared by my amazing Upworthy colleague Laura Willard. Just a small glimpse of the life of children in foster care after they were removed from their homes, was what we saw. This was Zoe, a little girl, and Benaiah, her little brother.
As foster parents for the last year, my wife and I shared the original with our adoption worker. She then passed it on to all agency staff. It exploded like wildfire among them.
Part 2 is here, and it’s very emotional.
(Yes, it’s a bit long at around 20 minutes. It’s well worth the effort.
She describes her life as a cycle, interrupted by a tornado. She is a foster parent. I don’t think I have to add anything.
So … let’s accompany that with 9 uncomfortable — but enlightening — facts below. These are the only nine facts highlighted, but there are many more facts within those headers.
1. An estimated 400,000 children are in foster care at the moment.
Some of these children are still waiting to be adopted. Some will return to their parents. Some others will grow older or even run away.
2. Foster kids can suffer from PTSD at almost two times the rate of returning veterans.
And PTSD can mimic a lot of other mental illnesses, and it can manifest as nightmares, flashbacks, fight-or-flee responses, anger outbursts, and hyper-vigilance (being on “red alert” at all times), among other symptoms.
3. The average age of a foster child is 9 years old.
They are at the edge, but it could be that their childhood was very difficult. Trauma does that.
4. About half of all foster kids are in non-relative foster homes.
88% of all foster kids live in institutions, 66% in group homes, and 4% in pre-adoptive families. Read that again — only 4% are in pre-adoptive homes.
5. Many foster children have multiple placements. In some cases, eight or more.
That’s eight homes that they move into — and out of. You should also consider that this means they not only lose their children and friends with whom they form a bond, but also their schoolmates, friends, and pets.
6. The average foster child remains in the system for almost two years before being reunited with their biological parents, adopted, aging out, or other outcomes.
Over 8% remain in foster care for longer than five years. The 238,000 foster children who left the system in 2013 comprised approximately half the total. 21% of them were adopted. 15% went to live at home with a relative. 10% were emancipated.
7. In 2013, more than 23,000 young people aged out of foster care with no permanent family to end up with.
If you add all that together, every year hundreds of thousands will have left the system. How does this look? “You’re 18. You’ve got no place to live and no family. Good luck — but-bye now!” One-quarter of former foster kids experience homelessness within four years of exiting the system.
8. Foster “alumni” (those who have been in foster homes and either adopted, returned to parents, or aged out) are likely to suffer serious mental health consequences.
They are four-five times more likely to be hospitalized for attempting suicide and five-eight times more likely to be hospitalized for serious psychiatric disorders in their teens.
Based on that set of statistics alone, it’s in the public’s interest (ignoring, for a second, the interests of those kids) to help them through their lot in life and spend resources making it all work much better for everybody before it gets to that point. Do you get it?
This mess is not the best situation. What about the next? My blood boils.
What’s one of the biggest risk factors in families whose children are placed in foster care?
Is it cruelty?
Cruelty?
Do you use drugs?
Sexual abuse
Neglect?
The answer is …
9. Poverty
Together with homelessness and unemployment, it’s a main contributing factor. It happens all the time. The fact that it’s far easier for a parent to be accused and investigated for neglect or abuse because of simple things like lack of access to a vehicle, or a working refrigerator, or the ability to get a kid to a doctor’s appointment — that has a lot to do with this. Tie that to the link between drug abuse and poverty and between poverty and child abuse … well, you can see where this is going.
And in a country where one-third of children are living in poverty (hint: the good ol’ U.S. of A. Imagine how this affects the number of children being taken away and placed in foster care.
My story will end with a little hope.
Before they moved in with us, my kids had to go through something similar to the ones shown above. We’ve been through the wringer in ways that we’re going to have to talk about one day because it’s not just that the kids have been challenging — they have — it’s that the system itself has been more challenging.
The entire system — from agencies to government entities to social workers to even the schools — seems like it’s designed to fail these kids and the families who are attempting to help. It’s almost designed not to work. It was there, I said it.
We won’t stop fighting to make it better. We will.
For us, we are only a few weeks away from becoming the legal parents of these kids. We’re very happy to be here making it happen. They seem to love being our kids. We fell in love with them along the way and can’t imagine our lives without them.
To be honest, if we had known how difficult this journey would be, and if there was a way to turn back time and not do it, would we have continued with the journey?
I’m sorry. I won’t be entirely honest. Let you make the decision.
If you are so inclined, here are some resources to help.
- AdoptUsKids.org is a place to start if you’re considering fostering or adopting.
- My Stuff Bags is a really cool and inexpensive way to help foster kids by gifting them actual luggage, duffel bags, and more, so that they don’t travel from home to home with garbage bags for their belongings — or nothing at all.
- CASA for Children offers legal help and advocates for foster kids through a network of volunteers.