Fast X
(12A) 141mins
★★★★☆
PUT the pedal to the metal – it’s the 10th instalment from the Fast & Furious crew – a high-speed and hilarious two-and-a-half hours of motoring madness.
We’re taken back ten years, where F&F veteran Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O’Conner (the late Paul Walker) are doing the “vault theft” in Fast Five.
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Having hooked a steel bank-safe to their cars, they drive it frantically through buildings — killing the gangland boss that owned it in the process.
Unfortunately for the good guys, a very angry son was left behind in the form of Dante Reyes (Aquaman’s Jason Momoa).
He is an all-singing-all-dancing psychopath on a mission to destroy the “family” with a huge carbon footprint.
And so starts Dante’s assault on the team, including Dom’s wife Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), brother Jakob (John Cena), sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) — and double act Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson).
In the relentless assaults, you will be chasing after a huge ball-bomb through the streets in Rome and racing on the streets of Rio. You’ll also have to ride helicopters as part of a sunny Spaghetti Junction.
Nothing is sacred in this first bit of the two-part finale, so you have to make a choice — slip your brain into cruise control and allow the insanity to wash over you, or take it seriously.
And no one involved in the film is doing the latter, so I’d strongly advise going along for the ride.
Giant Ball Bomb
When en route around the world you’ll see Brie Larson’s 2016 Oscar win flash before her eyes in her scenes with muscleman boss Alan Ritchson.
Also, Dame Helen Mirren doing an impression of an EastEnders market stall owner and calling the cat-bum-lipped Vin Diesel “Me darlin’” and “Duckie”.
But mostly you’ll enjoy the surprisingly superb turn by Momoa, who plays the flamboyant criminal mastermind with such dark humour, he becomes a buff version of Joaquin Phoenix’s The Joker.
He’s absolutely laugh-out-loud brilliant.
And while Diesel still has the acting range of a flat battery — and no one ever wears a seatbelt yet they come out of collisions unscathed — it’s still one hell of a ride on the big screen.
Strap yourself in.
Beau Is Afraid
(15) 178mins
★★★☆☆
IF there is one rule to be obeyed in Ari Aster films – it is don’t go in the loft.
Beau Is Anxious jumps the sharks when Midsommar’s genius director takes his audience to that place.
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In the attic there’s a huge throbbing mess that really should have stayed in Aster’s deranged mind.
I still had many questions about this cartoon satire.
Joaquin Phoenix is the paranoid Beau who has a series of near-death encounters on his journey to meet his tyrannical mother.
It is funny to contrast the non-conflict-prone Beau with an violent world that contains a naked sabreman, a spider killer and a creepy, family.
Even though he may try to stay away from the chaos, it is impossible.
While Phoenix fully throws himself into the madness, I was exhausted by three hours of Aster’s surreal ideas.
It would have been best to cut some of the pieces out and store them under the eaves.
Is God with you? Are You there God?
(PG) 111mins
★★★★★
The difficulty of coming-of -age is illustrated by a really great film.
This adaptation of Judy Blume’s famous 1970 novel does exactly that.
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The story is about 11-year old Margaret (Abby Ryder Fortson), who must move with her artist mother (Rachel McAdams), and her soulful father (Benny Safdie) from New York to New Jersey.
Margaret is forced to live with the girls in the town after being taken away by her beloved grandma (Kathy Bates). This causes her to be criticized for her lack in curves, bra and periods, as well as her inexperience with women of the other sex.
So Margaret – who has no religion after her Christian mum caused a family row when she married her Jewish dad – starts praying to her own version of God for these things to come immediately.
Kelly Fremon Craig, writer, director, and producer of this film does an excellent job in telling the story of a young woman’s struggle to become a woman.
All the performances are charming, without being sickly sweet – and with a soundtrack so good it matches Forrest Gump, this film is perfect for all the family.