THE SUN’S Deborah James has shared her heartbreaking wishes for her final days as she reveals she’s planned her funeral.
Also known as Bowel Babe, the 40-year-old has been living with bowel cancer since 2016.
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Earlier this week she said she had stopped receiving active treatment and will spend her last days at her parents’ home in Woking.
She said on 5 Live yesterday: “My priority is that I spend time with my family, we are all together, I’m at my parents, it’s always where I supposed I wanted to die.
“My husband, my kids are around. My parents, my brother, and my sister.
“We’ve been having sleepovers, we’ve been doing loads of talking – well I’ve been listening, lying on the sofa, I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping.
- Deborah has urged people to donate to her fundraiser – atbowelbabe.org– which has already raised more than £2million
“But we are actually out in the sunshine at the moment.
“What I desire is simple things, which is holding my husband’s hand, curling up and watching movies with my daughter, telling them both that I love them, that I love them.
“Just spending time watching the people I love in awe, to just know that they are ok.
“The more I tell them they are going to be ok, the more I tell myself they are going to be ok, I know they are surrounded by love.
“I know they are surrounded by support and I don’t think I could ask for anything more – they will be fine.”
She also revealed she has planned her funeral, which will be in Barnes near to where her family home is.
The mum told the Times: “It sounds morbid, but I want a sombre funeral in black and white because I think people look good in black and white.
“There’s a big church in Barnes and I’ll leave Seb to decide on the reception, as long as there is tequila.
“I’m thinking of asking people to bring a picture or a funny anecdote, so my family have something to remember.
“Otherwise, how can my children collect memories from people in my life they don’t know?
“At 12 and 14 I hope they will remember me, but [they are] still very young, so my image will fade and they will have to rely on videos or photos.”
She added she’d like Tell Me It’s Not True from Blood Brothers to be played and her kids to read poems, if they are able.
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Bowel cancer symptoms to speak to your GP about:
The five red-flag symptoms of bowel cancer include:
- Bleeding from the back passage, or blood in your poo
- A change in your normal toilet habits – going more frequently for example
- Pain or a lump in your tummy
- Extreme tiredness
- Losing weight
Tumours in the bowel typically bleed, which can cause a shortage of red blood cells, known as anaemia. It can cause tiredness and sometimes breathlessness.
In some cases bowel cancer can block the bowel, this is known as a bowel obstruction.
Other signs of bowel cancer include:
- Gripping pains in the abdomen
- Feeling bloated
- Constipation and being unable to pass wind
- Being sick
- Feeling like you need to strain – like doing a number two – but after you’ve been to the loo
It comes after Deborah unveiled her BowelBabe Fund this week and urged her supportive fans to help it flourish.
Donations can be made atbowelbabe.org, and more than £2million has been raised in less than 24 hours.
She asked supporters to buy her a drink to “see me out this world” by donating the cost to the fund.
Central Recorder columnist said it would raise money for further life-saving cancer research “to give more Deborah’s more time”.
The money will be donated between Cancer Research UK, Bowel Cancer UK and the Royal Marsden.
She opened up about stopping active treatment in her final episode of her BBC podcast titled –You, Me and the Big C: Putting the can in cancer.
FINAL WISHES
The episode, movingly calledDeborah James’ Last Dance,saw her speak candidly to producer Mike Holt.
The pair shared a powerful chat on her final days, and the impact of the podcast on cancer patients.
Mike struggled to contain his emotion as Deborah said she was comforted by the thought she would be with Rachel Bland – her co-host on the podcast who tragically died in 2018.
She said “I’ll go an party with her”, as an overwhelmed Mike let out a shaky breath.
Stifling tears, she added: “I think well if she can do it, I can do it. We always had a joke about grim reapers on the other side.
“I still have it as one of my gifs, so it’s ironic. Maybe she will meet me on the other side and be like ‘wow, better late than never!”
Later he told her, fighting through tears: “Debs. I think you should be really proud.
“The work has always been to raise awareness about bowel cancer and cancer in general.
“What you did once you had cancer does define you and what you did has been inspirational.
“I am going to finish this sentence – working with you has been one of the most inspiring experiences.”
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