Money can be a challenging subject, especially when there’s a colossal difference in finance management between you and your partner. According to a survey, most people talk to their partners about their weight instead of introducing the financial aspect to the conversation.
In a 2017 survey, an investing app called Acorns conducted research and declared nearly 68 percent of respondents said they’d rather reveal their weight than their savings in their bank accounts. Is weight even connected with money? One Redditor felt emphasizing his girlfriend’s weight was the only way to explain his financial tightness.
Being financially well off means having zero interference with your lifestyle, including what and how much goes into your plate. The Redditor knew it sounded awkward, but he had no choice but to tell his girlfriend she ate his granny’s share for the week too. Posting on Reddit, he said:
“My grandmother has invited us to dinner again this weekend. Before we go, I tried to have a discussion with Ashley, re-iterating my grandmother’s financial situation and asking that she try to only take a single smaller portion so my grandmother can have food for the week.”
Money conversations are one of the most challenging aspects to navigate in a relationship. People often misinterpret the idea, and eventually, several incompatibility issues arise between them. Shockingly enough, experts claim that many couples are embarrassed to discuss their finances with their partners.
People in a relationship often don’t disclose their debts or financial instability to their partners. When couples don’t talk about money, chances are plenty it can snowball in the future. A post on Quora emphasized how to bring up money conversation with your partner.
“I had to tell my husband, who was terrible at handling money, that if I didn’t start handling all the finances, I couldn’t stay in the marriage anymore. It was driving me crazy that he had no thought process in place when it came to spending money,” a person named Elisa Ramos explained.
When you start dating someone, you’d be interested in finding a lot about them—their values, interests, and how much you equate with them (or don’t), to name a few. But what about finances? Money has been a leading cause of anxiety in many relationships, probably because, for many couples, it’s a topic not to be discussed.
First things first: never rush talking about money if you don’t feel it’s the right time. Every relationship navigates at its own pace, and it’s up to you and your partner to decide when to introduce money into your conversation. “Money is a major cause of anxiety in relationships,” claims New York-based relationship expert April Masini, adding:
“People are not usually honest about money — until there is a problem. And it can be a big problem. It can bring up so many issues, like upbringing, gender dynamics, personality, and more. It’s a loaded area and one a lot of us like to ignore.”
Several experts like Masini herself claim that talking about money on a first date allows you to know how well your partner responds to the topic. Money being an open topic for discussion helps long-term relationships function smoothly in the long run, claim experts.
Often, all it takes to avoid any financial issues in your relationship is to have some money talks. Discussing your spending habits might help to test the waters before things go awry in the future. For example, economic tension becomes a haunting experience for people moving in with their overly spendthrift partners.
For instance, one person explained to Insider how his spending habits differed from his partner. “I’m a saver who is strict with money and who already has retirement accounts set up, while she is prone to splurging and not saving because it’s important to “live in the moment,” he explained.
According to expert opinion, approaching the discussion about money paves the way for understanding each other’s financial ethics. Your initial money conversation should focus on emphasizing your background, including how your parents treated money. Taking a deep dive into that subject might help your partner understand their live-in-the-moment attitude towards spending.
When couples argue over money, it’s because it hasn’t been discussed. According to a survey conducted by GoBankingRates, about a quarter of Americans never tell the truth to their partners about their finances. However, talking about finances doesn’t make it for a comfortable or easiest conversation.
“Don’t do it on the first date. But you should do it in the first six months. Definitely,” says David Bach, personal finance expert.
This scenario is perfect for couples looking forward to establishing a long-term relationship with their partner, despite the differences in their financial goals. Bach claims that two people with different financial opinions can work it together only if their goals are on the same page.