We already know how stupid and incoherent people who refuse to protect themselves from COVID-19 are being, but in case you were looking for an amusing way to explain it, Stephen Colbert has you covered.
On Tuesday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert kicked things off with a cold open gag — as always, inspired by real stuff — that imagined a restaurant tailor made for people who won’t take vaccines.
Using as a jump off point the recent news of a mob of lunatics who went to the Olive Garden in Times Square, New York City demanding to be served despite refusing to comply with the restaurant’s COVID policies, the gag was a fake ad for “COVID Garden. the only restaurant chain with absolutely no health regulations.”
According to the fake commercial, antivaxxers “tired of restaurants with an authoritarian vaccine mandate” can rest assured that COVID Garden employees never wash their hands. The restaurant also offers such delightful sounding entrees as “quarantini alfredo,” “spinach and artichoke diphtheria,” “fried mozzarubella sticks,” “spaghetti carbonanthrax,” and “chicken malaria.”
“Mmm, just like mom used to contract,” the ad promises.
Of course, come to think of it, it is weird how these angry antivaxxers never seem to apply the logic to anything else. But we’ll leave the debate over basic public safety to you, our intelligent and attractive readers. Meanwhile, watch the whole cold open gag below now.