The three parents were left wondering if their children could be suffering from MELTDOWNS and suicidal thoughts. They also struggled with relation-ship issues. “wrong”With them.
Their children were later diagnosed with autism and they also realized they were on the spectrum.
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The UK has 700,000 people living with a lifelong disability called development disabilities. Most cases are found in childhood, and more often in boys.
However, experts claim that thousands of women are not diagnosed.
Christine McGuinness, 33, wife of TV’s Paddy McGuinness, was confirmed as autistic earlier this year — just like her three children, twins Penelope and Leo, who are eight, and five-year-old Felicity.
Melanie Sykes, 51-year-old TV presenter, stated that Valentino, her 17-year old son, is autistic. “celebrated”She recently received a diagnosis.
Natasha Harding (left) and Sam Carlisle (right) talk to three parents who found out they were autistic in later life.
Heather Tingle (44), lives in Sheffield with Emily Tingle, 11, who is autistic.
Heather, who owns her own decluttering company, said that the diagnosis she received last May was life-changing.
She says: “Emily received her diagnosis when she was six, and while she was being assessed, the paediatrician asked me how long I’d known I was autistic.
“I laughed at first and said, ‘Oh, I’m not autistic’.
“But then, I left the room and thought,” ‘Oh my God, I’m autistic too’. Why didn’t I realise?
“Although her words seemed like a sudden bolt of lightning, it was eventually clear that everything made sense.
“I realised why I find socialising and new places exhausting, why I need structure and routine, and why I found small talk a challenge.
“I did a lot of research over the next few years before I went for my own assessment, because having the diagnosis confirmed felt like a really big deal and I wanted to be totally sure in my own mind.
“I was 43 when I went for my own assessment and it’s been life-changing.
“There have been times in my life that have been so hard mentally that I feel incredibly grateful I’m still alive.
“Growing up was horrendous.
“I felt outsider, even though I had great friends and family. I didn’t feel like I was doing the right thing.
“I had a breakdown at university as it was just too much. I was diagnosed with depression and was prescribed medication for five-years.
“In retrospect, it was a misdiagnosis. Now I realize that I was suffering from autistic burnout. This is a type fatigue that affects autistic persons living in a world for neurotypical people.
“The things that helped were time, understanding myself better and putting coping strategies in place.
“All of the signs of being autistic were there, such as the fact I was so easily overwhelmed, struggled socially, had sensory issues and didn’t like crowds, but nobody was connecting the dots because I have good eye contact and hold down a job.
“Somethings need to be changed so that people who are hiding are seen and heard.
I left the room, thinking. ‘Oh my God, I’m autistic too’. Why didn’t I realise?
Heather Tingle
“All children need to be assessed at school.
“Since my diagnosis, I’ve stopped doing the things I know I’m going to struggle with.
“I spent so much of my life feeling like a failed neuro-typical person, but now I feel like a successful autistic person.”
Robert Amey (48), is an engineer from Sittingbourne, Kent. Lauren, 37, is a nurse.
They have three children: Chloe (18 years old), Jessica (12 years) and George (10 years).
Jessica was nine when she was diagnosed and George at ten.
Robert was diagnosed in January of last year.
He says: “After Jessica was diagnosed three years ago, my wife said she thought I was autistic too.
“I hadn’t shared the concerns she’d had about Jessica, because I related to her and assumed she was fine — she was just like me.
“But, after her diagnosis, I went to a parenting class where I learned more autism. It dawned on my that all the things mentioned, including differences socially and other aspects, applied to me too.
“I’ve always felt different, and remember saying to my mum when I was in junior school that I wasn’t like everyone else, but I didn’t know why.
“I’ve lost countless friends over the years because I can be overly opinionated and stuck in my ways.
I’ve always felt different, and remember saying to my mum when I was in junior school that I wasn’t like everyone else, but I didn’t know why.
Robert Amey
“The diagnosis has been a huge help to our family. I have finally come to terms with myself.
“I feel more confident in myself and understand why being an engineer comes naturally, while expressing my emotions is a struggle.”
“Knowing I’m autistic means I’ve been able to put things in place, which has helped.
“If I feel overwhelmed, the cabin is where I can go to be alone.
“I’m so thankful that I took the plunge and was assessed.
“It’s helped my relationship with Lauren, too.
“She’s more accepting of me now.
“She understands that there are things I’ll always find more challenging than her, but she gets it and it means that I feel more relaxed with who I am.”
Nikki Hughes is a stay-at home mum, aged 34. She lives in Mitcham (Surrey), with Michael, 34.
“Her two youngest sons are autistic, and Nikki was diagnosed at the age of 31.
She says: “I first realised I might be autistic when I went to autism parenting classes.
“Nikolai was first diagnosed at the age of two. I was then sent on a course that taught me how to manage his symptoms.
It was hugely comforting to finally understand the reasons my life felt so difficult.
Nikki Hughes
“When the teacher listed typical autistic traits like talking on the same subject for 30 minutes, spinning around on a chair for ages or avoiding eye contact — I couldn’t understand why they were different as I did them all myself.
“I asked my GP to refer me for an assessment.
“I filled out forms and had an interview to see a psychologist. I was finally diagnosed at 31.
“In some of the areas you would have qualified as autistic with a score of ten – I was scoring 25. It was an enormous relief to see the reasons my life had been so hard.
“But later, I felt angry at having been left to struggle for so many years with no one paying attention.
“I had difficulty with friendships and relation-ships. I had felt suicidal many times — I felt so lonely and like I couldn’t keep up with all life demanded without knowing why.
“I felt like a failure as a human being, when in fact my brain just works differently.
“At school, I’d have meltdowns because the noise of the classroom was too much. I’d get put into isolation because I could get so angry. I loved that it was quiet.
“Melanie said she had trust issues and I can see why. I couldn’t read people and took others at face value. If they were nice to my face then whispering behind my back, I didn’t notice. It hurt when they told me to not trust them.
“With boys, I felt I had to please them – I didn’t understand I could say no, that there was a concept of consent.
“When we were 15, I met Michael, my husband. He understood me.
“Being mum to my autistic sons comes easily as they communicate in the same way.
“But with Malakye, it’s harder.
“He thinks different. When he’s upset I leave him because I would want to be alone, when in fact he needs a hug. I’m learning, though.
“I’m proud to be autistic now. I have a genuine difference rather than being ‘Nikki just being Nikki’.”
‘Being told can be life-changing’
TIM NICHOLLS, National Autistic Society’s head of policy, said:
“Autistic people might find social situations difficult, unexpected changes unsettling or have sensory sensitivities.
“These things can be overwhelming and autistic people can experience a meltdown, or shut down, where they momentarily lose control and have to ‘reset’to be able again to face them.
“Getting a diagnosis could be life-changing.
“Things that they might have struggled to understand may suddenly make more sense.
“It helps people realise who they really are, which is very important – especially for people who may have felt they don’t fit in.
“It can be in times of difficulty that autistic people struggle, which is often when they realise they could be autistic.
“There is more awareness of autism, so we’re seeing more people put themselves forward for a diagnosis.
“They should be offered postdiagnostic support. These are sessions that help them understand what a diagnosis means.
“They might want to discuss it with their employer to see if changes can be made to their jobs .
“It might be a process of thinking, these are the things I am sensitive to – how can I avoid them or have techniques to deal with them?”
Parents miss £434m funding
THE Sun, together with the Disabled Children’s Partnership, launched the Give It Back campaign in June 2019 to demand that the Government reinstates crucial funding for social care and disabled children.
The lack of support from the Government for vital equipment, respite care, and other services means that thousands of families with disabled children are struggling.
An astonishing £434million has been cut from council budgets for this purpose over the past decade. We demand they return it.
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