When you have a newborn, everyone’s focus, including your own, tends to shift away from you. Your needs and desires are often forgotten. You want to make sure your baby is happy and healthy. And that’s mostly to be expected. (Although we HighlyIt is a good idea to let others take some of your load from time to time.
One woman (we’ll call her Stephanie) took things WayShe went too far when Mary needed breastmilk to support her baby during one of the worst times of her life.
This Recent story from the “Am I The A**hole?”Reddit threadIt has much to unravel. This story has a complex relationship between sisters, a formula shortfall, a new mother, and the heartbreaking circumstances of a grieving mum.
This story may be distressing for anyone who has experienced a stillbirth, miscarriage or infant death. These stories are important because they help to reduce stigma and complicated emotions associated with losing a child.
‘Am I Wrong For No Longer Supplying My Sister Breast Milk?’
Mary posted a Reddit question asking the community to agree with Stephanie. This is her question. “Am I The A**hole for telling my sister I will no longer give her my breast milk?” And, from the jump, she doesn’t sound like an a**hole…At all.
Here’s the situation. Mary gave birth to a stillborn child recently. Stephanie was her sister and gave birth to a baby. “healthy baby boy”The next week came. While Mary was producing breastmilk, her sister wasn’t able to breastfeed her baby.
RELATED:Husband Wanted Wife to ‘Sleep On The Floor’He could have his friend share the bed with him on vacation.
Also, the Kindness from her heart, Mary offered to provide breastmilk to her sister’s son while she was pumping. (Mary’s doctors recommended she pump for three weeks).
There was also a shortage of formula during that time. Mary agreed to pump breastmilk for an additional two weeks when Stephanie couldn’t find any formula. Mary informed her sister that she would no longer pump breastmilk after the formula was restocked. Stephanie told Mary her son was suffering stomach problems and asked her to keep pumping.
When Mary told her sister that she couldn’t emotionally handle it anymore, her sister responded cruelly. Mary was informed by her sister that she was “selfish and the embodiment of misery loves company.”This is the record scratch. I know the difficulties that sisters face. Stephanie’s entitled attitude is beyond disgusting.
Her sister just went through a traumatic event, and it doesn’t seem like anyone is acknowledging that. Sadly, even Mary’s mom agrees that she should “help out”Her sister. Mary has the support of her husband. He believes in her sister. “way out of line.”
Mary eventually agreed to pump a few. Continue readingShe gave her sister a freezer stash for a few days until she could find a better formula. Mary mentions that she feels overwhelmed. “awful”You can’t miss it “helping her out more.”
We think this mom is the epitome of kindness and bravery in the face of adversity, and we’re not alone. Reddit helped us tremendously.
One commenter agreed that Stephanie should be grateful for all that Mary has done, especially while she’s mourning her own child. “Your husband is right. You shouldn’t be bullied into continuing your milk production and then pumping when this is time for you to grieve. You were kind enough to continue for 2 additional weeks, she needs to be grateful and move on.”
RELATED:Mom Facing Backlash after Defending ‘Spoiled Brat’The Daughter Who Refused Help With Chores
Another commenter did offer an alternative to Stephanie’s behavior. While she did empathize with Stephanie somewhat, she still agreed that Mary was in no way the a**hole. Breastfeeding can be a difficult choice for mothers due to social pressures. “bad moms” if they can’t provide breastmilk.
Stephanie may be dealing with emotions surrounding the fact that she can’t breastfeed, or possibly even postpartum depression, which might be skewing her outlook.
The commenter said, “When I first had to supplement because I wasn’t making enough I felt like a bad mother, and ironically I feel like we can often be made to feel that way, so maybe your sister is struggling with that decision.”
It’s important to note that there are milk banks for situations like these and sensitive formulas for babies that can’t process certain formulas. This is a situation in which Stephanie should consult her son’s pediatrician to come up with an appropriate solution.
Another commenter said, “You deserve the ability to grieve and move on on your own timeline. The fact your sister doesn’t care about your loss or grief is astounding. I’m sorry she is so self-absorbed and can’t see your pain. I’m sorry for your tremendous loss and am so thankful you have such a supportive spouse.”