- Despite the fact that about 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage (about 1 in 4), there is still stigma surrounding this topic.
- It is difficult for a woman to control when or where her pregnancy ends.
- Five women share their experiences of losing a pregnancy outside the home or in a health facility.
Zakiya Barnett discovered she was at risk of miscarrying at 10 weeks. She decided to let it pass naturally and not have to go through a procedure to remove any tissue.
“Allowing it to happen naturally was taking control back,”In MSNBC’s December documentary, she spoke out “Stories We Tell: The Fertility Secret.”
But her choice also meant giving up control over exactly when and where it would happen — which turned out to be the same day she traveled from Philadelphia to New York to attend her friend’s baby shower.
“I felt cramping, I started spotting, and I was like, ‘Aw, man,’ this is going to happen,'”In the film, the 41-year old attorney spoke out. “So at 2, 3 in the morning at my friend’s apartment, I went to the bathroom and I miscarried.”
Barnett did not discuss whether her friends knew about her pregnancy or how being in a celebration environment for a future child affected her. However, she did share that the second loss she suffered was devastating. “a lot more sad”It is better than the first.
Insider spoke with four other women who have had miscarriages while in public. Many felt forced to hide their pain, so Insider asked them to use their first names to preserve their privacy. They show how silent suffering can be perpetuated by stigmas of miscarriage, how invisible fertility issues can be to others, and how much compassion strangers should have.
Jenna miscarried while she waited in a 2-hour voting queue
Jenna was waiting to cast her vote for the 2020 election, when she felt intense cramping. She was eighteen weeks pregnant.
The line was tightly wrapped around the block and the resident from the swing state didn’t dare move. Some of her co-voters were wearing prolife paraphernalia.
“I couldn’t believe how painful it was physically,”Jenna, a mother of two, spoke to Insider. “It was like being in labor.”She was unable to sleep for over an hour, and her only relief came from her husband’s back rubs.
“I couldn’t think straight, let alone function,”She spoke. “I couldn’t say anything at the polls or ask to move ahead in the line because people don’t talk about miscarriage and don’t realize it’s a painful emergent situation.”
Jenna was informed of her vote by an emergency ultrasound. This confirmed the loss. She underwent a D & CThe next day, you can have your pregnancy tissue removed by.
Stacy smiled and bore it at a celebration for long term care residents
Stacy began her career eight years ago in a long term care facility. There, the staff would put on an annual “wedding.”Residents who were not well enough to attend weddings for the most part enjoyed this event.
Stacy was a bridesmaid and wore a heavy pad.
“I was smiling and walking down the aisle, standing near the fake bride and groom, literally having a miscarriage,”Insider was informed by her. “It was awful. I didn’t want to back out of it because what reason did I really have that I wanted to share? Plus the residents just loved it so much.”
Stacy used over-the-counter pain medicine after the celebration and continued her work. “Luckily, I had the chance to sit at my desk and be left alone after that.”She didn’t tell her coworkers.
Heather miscarried while in a museum restroom
Heather and her husband stayed home for a week as they knew that Heather’s first baby would not be viable. However, they were able to get tickets to a museum so they decided to take a trip.
“After walking around all day, I started to cramp and miscarry in the bathroom,”Heather shared her experience with Insider. “In the moment, I was super stunned, but not very emotional. I had been waiting for it, but did not expect it to happen like the first time we left the house.”
After the couple left, they went back to their home and then to the ER. They let themselves grieve. “We took a beat after and took a trip and just let ourselves come down — or up? — from that experience before we tried again.”Heather is now a mother of two.
Arielle miscarried while enjoying a Costco hotdog
Arielle Spiegel, who was just seven weeks pregnant, experienced the bleeding. Mother of one, founder of CoFertilityA site that aims at “un-complicate”The fertility journey, she went to her fertility clinic in order to confirm that she was having miscarriages.
After that, there was nothing left to do — except eat. Spiegel and her husband ate hot dogs at Costco across from their home.
“I remember thinking, ‘Everyone here thinks I’m just here to grab a bite and some bulk goods,’ when really, I’m basically wearing a diaper from all the bleeding I’m experiencing,”She spoke. “Doing something totally normal while still bleeding — it’s just crappy.”
She added: “with recurrent pregnancy loss, it’s almost normalized.”Spiegel, 33 years old, has suffered five pregnancies losses and multiple rounds in vitro fertilization.
“You never know what somebody is going through in general, but fertility can be a sensitive topic,”She spoke. “So I just recommend people be sensitive to that.”