- Dating is the initial stage of a relationship. It is when you first get to know someone.
- You may reach the blissful honeymoon stage after a while. This could last for up to one year.
- The final stage of your life is life-building. This is when you might have kids or buy a house.
- Get more information at Insider’s Health Reference Library.
Do you wonder if your relationship is on the right track? Every couple is unique but there are a few stages that every relationship must go through.
It is not clear how many stages there are in a relationship and what they entail. Older models, such as the Knapps 1984 modelIt is believed that there are 10 stages to this process Levinger’s 1976 modelFive, according to some claims.
What is more important than how many stages you use to define, grow, and mature your relationships?
Two relationship experts were consulted to give their opinion on the best path for modern relationships.
These are the six stages that make up a relationship. Kyle Zrenchik PhD, LMFTCo-owner with All In Therapy Clinic Kimberly Panganiban, LMFTat Choose Therapy.
1. Dating
You must go on dates or spend some time together before a relationship can take off.
This is your chance for you to get to know the person and test the waters. Then, decide if a relationship is right for you. This could help you discover what you like and what you share in common.
“Each person finds themselves having a special interest in the other, and are communicating in a way that is unique to building an intimate relationship. Flirting, intimate touching, and time alone together is common,”Zrenchik.
2. Formation
Zrenchik states that if everything goes well during the courting phase, the couple will move on the formation stage. That is when both parties make an agreement to be together. This relationship does not need to be monogamous.
This could be your new partner, boyfriend or girlfriend. You can also simply say you’re in a relationship. This stage will allow you to discuss whether or not you want an exclusive relationship.
3. The honeymoon stage
Being with your partner is amazing when the relationship is at this exciting stage.
“This is the stage when couples are madly in love and feel they have found that perfect someone. It is during this stage that our bodies release feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin, that give us the incredible feeling of falling in love,” says Panganiban.
A 2014 StudyWe measured the oxytocin level in 163 people. The measurements were taken in singles as well as couples who have been in a relationship for 3 months. Researchers discovered that oxytocin levels in couples were significantly higher than those of singles. This suggests that this was due to the early stages in the couple’s relationship.
Panganiban says that this stage usually lasts around one year. It could last longer or shorter depending on the relationship.
This stage can make you feel so happy that you may have some misjudgments. Panganiban states that because you’re so blinded in love, and you view the relationship through rose colored glasses, it is more likely you will miss or ignore red flags.
4. Trust
This stage allows couples to discover if they can trust and count upon their partner. It is vital because trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Panganiban claims that this stage is when you start to believe that:
- You can count on your partner to be there for you during difficult times.
- Your partner will be open with you.
- Your partner and you will work together as one team.
- When they promise to do something, your partner will not break their word.
A 2017 StudyPeople in relationships discovered that trust was directly associated with the health of the relationship. They found that people who trust their partners were less likely to observe their behavior or spy on them, and they are less likely engage in psychological abuse.
Panganiban also states that at this point the honeymoon stage bliss is over and you might start to notice differences or flaws between you and your partner.
Regardless of your differences you will want to find out if you can truly be there together. “A couple’s ability to successfully navigate through this stage is vital for the health and longevity of the relationship,” says Panganiban.
5. Commitment
This is the stage where you and you partner confirm your commitment to each other. It may include a formal declaration, such as marriage, domestic partnerships, or union ceremonies.
“The couple is aware of the differences between them and the things that bother them about one another and they have accepted that these things will continue to remain. However, they have figured out how to manage these differences and focus instead on all of the good in the relationship and in one another,” says Panganiban.
Healthy communication is an important aspect of any relationship.
A2017 Study It was suggested that good communication during the first stages of a relationship can play a part in future relationship satisfaction. Being satisfied with communication in the early stages of a relationship can predict a civil partnership later. This is especially important when you have to deal with conflict or differences and come up with amicable agreements.
6. Building life
Zrenchik states that this stage can be used to have children, buy a house, start a business, or save for retirement.
Zrenchik suggests that you have a deep commitment to your partner and your relationship at this point. You should also have healthy communication and trust.
Additional information: 2020 meta-analysisThey reviewed 43 studies to find out what makes a relationship last. These five factors are most likely to determine the success of a marriage:
- Partner commitment perceived
- Appreciation
- Satisfaction with sexual partners
- Perceived partner satisfaction
- Conflict
For the best results, make sure you are happy in all aspects of your relationship.
Insider’s takeaway
These are only the major stages of a relationship. Every couple is unique. Your journey might look different from others, and that’s okay.
Instead of worrying about whether or not your relationship is progressing in the correct order, try to enjoy the ride.
If you feel unhappy or trapped, be aware of signs and red flags that could indicate emotional manipulation.