Reddit users are showing immense support to a man who asked ‘AITA for telling my wife it is time to go back to work’ and the ending of his story will take you by surprise.
The Reddit post attracted one-sided opinions until the husband highlighted issues in his relationship with his wife and users think he’s reached the end of his tether. The husband says comments under his post made him reach a “realization” that was much needed for his own good.
Husband asks ‘AITA for telling my wife it is time to go back to work’
The Reddit user’s wife has been out of work since 2018. In her fifth year as a teacher, she suffered a major meltdown and stopped working. Since then, she has been in counseling and her husband began marriage counselling during the Covid pandemic.
As the husband is the only earning member of the family since his wife doesn’t have a job, he has been working extra hours at work, clocking in over 18 hours a day sometimes to save enough for their retirement as well as to handle the expenses of the house.
The couple sought advice from a marriage counsellor when their wife complained that they were pushing her to return to work too much, and he needed to do extra shifts in order to compensate for the loss of her income.
They had another fight recently and when the Reddit user told his wife to go back to work and she said it wasn’t the right time yet. She has made great progress and by rushing in, she would be losing everything she’s worked toward in the last five years.
A wife blaming her husband, broke down. The husband argued the added onus may cause him to have a meltdown, but he doesn’t have the luxury of not working like his wife.
Wife says the husband’s trying to manipulate her into taking up a job
He goes to the office, and when he returns home, there is no food. They order food in advance from resorts or restaurants.
She was angry that her husband complained about the couple’s expenses, even though his earnings alone were higher than their total income. But she didn’t realize he had put in more hours to make money for them both.
Apparently, the therapist also feels the husband’s issues aren’t as serious as his wife’s. He suggested that a part time job could be a good way to relax, but his wife and the therapist advised him not to do so. They also said it would be better for him to cut down on retirement savings and hold off on taking out loans until his wife was well.
The husband suggested that they downsize and rent out their home to pay off the mortgage. However, the therapist warned against this as it could have been too radical for the wife.
The husband finally realized he had a life of his own and he couldn’t clear his wife’s debts forever while she supported herself on his sole income.
In the update, the Reddit user revealed that he’s meeting with a lawyer to consider all his options as he’s decided to move out of the house he and his wife lived in. The Reddit user will stay with a close friend while he sort things out.
The users think that he has made the right decision
Reddit users have seconded the husband’s decision to walk out of the marriage and focus on his life.
“Despite the blow-up, I say NTA. Your voice sounds exhausted and beyond your capacity. How about five years with up to 84 hour weeks? Do you sleep?,” asked one.
Another added: “Ask her what about your mental and physical health. Do you know if the therapist really validates all of this? Sounds a lot like your wife is just saying ‘but my therapist says…’ to sort of add weight to what she says. And to accuse you of manipulation is ridiculous.”
“It may be time to call this an unsustainable relationship and let it go,” said another.