- I am a single mom of 1. I bought a four-unit apartment with another single mom.
- Siren House was designed to increase equity and help homeowners share the burdens associated with homeownership.
- Cohousing has made a huge difference in my life.
My 17 year-long partner and I parted ways in the early 2018 As the dust settled we agreed to coparent and sold our family home. After one year living in an expensive apartment that felt more like a hotel than my home, I called my Realtor.
My single-mom budget meant it would be difficult to find a Washington, DC condo or duplex. I was familiar with the requirements of homeownership having purchased three houses in my marriage. I wanted to be able to invest in my future, but I didn’t want to sell.
To be able to do this, I found another single mom with the same needs as mine — space, comfort, a home — to live with. It has been a life-changer for us and our children.
I’ve always loved stories about shared-housing.
Since I was a child, I longed for the idyllic, nostalgic lives that I saw on television. I loved “The Facts of Life,” “The Golden Girls,” “Grace and Frankie,” “Gilmore Girls.”
I wanted to be part of a family. Furthermore, It was possible, I knew that..
I promised to be open to unusual opportunities after my marriage was torn apart.
It was serendipitously that one of my best friends shared my story. “commune dream,”She had also separated from her husband at the same time as I was.
“We called our Realtor.You’re crazyHe replied, “Yes.” “I love it.”
You need stability, commitment, transparency, and honesty when choosing a housing partner.
We approached our housing journey like we were choosing a platonic partner to make it work.
We made sure our values were aligned across many areas, including politics, parenting style and finance.
We had to also agree on the type and size of house we needed. We wanted a multifamily home that could accommodate two identical-sized units, without one of us having to sleep in a basement. We wanted to be close to public transportation and in a safe place for our children to play.
After deciding on a maximum budget, we began our search. The perfect house was found on the first day.
We visited the property in April 2020 and prepared the offer. We closed the deal in June. Each of our units was renovated according to our own needs. A rent-to own option was available to a single mother who rented the fourth unit. In August 2020, we had three moms, five children between us, three dogs and two hamsters.
We are legal coinvestors. An operating agreement was signed for the asset purchase. The sub-agreement was then signed by us. “tenants in common.”Essentially, we are tenants in a condominium building. We have an informal, but legally binding, agreement.
The factor of infinity shows that benefits outweigh disadvantages.
Our housing arrangement has many benefits.
From car-sharing and carpooling; potlucks and small favors; built-in babysitting and dog-walking; sharing expenses; having friends to ugly cry with and unlimited, on-demand hugs; and feeling safe, loved, and grounded in the family — I’ve never been happier.
Similar to any family life arrangement, the challenges are similar.
Because our children are growing in physical size every day, we need more room. This can lead to chaos and noise, and more things getting damaged than in previous housing situations. When I need alone time, I find myself often with additional children to entertain and feed.
If I make a mistake or act out of control, if I get angry, aggravate someone, or hurt them, there is no escape. Every day, I must own my actions.
Our kids come first
The plan was easy to put together when we looked at the practical aspects of cohousing. But as moms, our children — ages 9, 9, 10, 11, and 13 — always come first.
This living arrangement offers a child’s paradise with a trampoline, parkour line and a garden. It also includes a large TV, big-screen TV, a gym and a craft room.
Our kids — who can use the buddy system for a walk to get gelato, and who have playmates during the quarantine and homeschool months — are thriving.
They are also gaining new perspectives on the way their loved ones navigate real life.
My daughter is learning from us all about divorce, dating and family. “siblings,”Bullying, puberty. Gender identity, gender orientation, sexual orientation. Entrepreneurship, creativity. Safety. Finding joy.
It is not the goal of life to attain some level of happiness. But, it is to create an environment in which we can pursue happiness at all times.
Holly Harper is the founder and CEO of Anagram Consulting, Blue Bike CommunicationsAnd Siren Foundry. Siren House’s founders are also her cofounders. Main Street Pearl.