Rachel Wright<\/a>, a sex and relationship therapist who is also in a non-monogamous relationship, told Insider. (Wright uses the term “non-monogamy” without the modifier “ethical” because it suggests relationship setups outside of monogamy are inherently unethical, which isn’t the case, she said.)<\/p>\n“Cheating is cheating, because cheating is going against an agreement,” Wright said.<\/p>\n
She said there’s no specific sex acts that make up “cheating.” Rather, it’s what partners agree to uphold together.<\/p>\n
That means people in any relationship dynamic, whether non-monogamous or monogamous, can cheat on their partners. In both relationship styles, cheating is characterized by a lack of communication and breaking of trust, according to Wright.<\/p>\n
Define ‘cheating’ with your partner using as much detail as possible<\/h2>\n
Society teaches us to avoid conversations about relationships and sex, but getting into the nitty gritty can help you better understand the difference between cheating and non-monogamy, Wright said.<\/p>\n
“There are all of these gray areas because we’re humans,” she said, so having an honest and in-depth discussion about what feels good for you and your partner is the best way to define “cheating.”<\/p>\n
“They just assume that everyone’s having the same experience, and there’s some relationship rule book that everybody’s going by. We all know, logically, that’s not true,” Wright said.<\/p>\n
People in non-monogamous arrangements have more options for their sexual and romantic lives than people in monogamous relationships, which means they over-communicate their expectations and boundaries often.<\/p>\n
She gave the example of two people in a polyamorous relationship. They may agree to date outside of their primary relationship, but also set a rule that they don’t invite their prospective partners back to their shared home. If one partner broke that rule, that would be cheating, Wright said.<\/p>\n
But if that partner had sex with an outside partner somewhere other than their home, it wouldn’t be cheating.<\/p>\n
“Really, the biggest difference is that someone is not ‘in the know.’ Someone is being blindsided,” Wright said.<\/p>\n
To get a better understanding of what “cheating” means to you, Wright suggested examining your personal relationship with jealousy.\u00a0<\/p>\n
When a person feels jealous, it often signals insecurity, Chapman University psychology professor and relationships researcher\u00a0Amy Moors<\/a> previously told Insider.<\/p>\nRather than create relationship rules that prevent jealousy, it’s healthier to understand how you can care for yourself when that emotion comes up, Wright said.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In monogamous relationships, a range of intimate interactions with other people could be considered cheating. This can lead to confusion about ethically non-monogamous relationships, where someone has multiple partners but isn’t cheating. According to a therapist, cheating isn’t black-and-white, but defined by an agreement partners make. People in monogamous relationships can’t seem to agree on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":51,"featured_media":80827,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[101,3,105,106],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Ethical-Non-Monogamy-Versus-Cheating-Therapist-Explains-Difference.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80826"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/51"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80826"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80826\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80827"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/centralrecorder.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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