- Over the last decade, I’ve enjoyed many solo meals.
- It’s something that takes a lot of practice, and I can see why.
- These seven tips will make it easier to eat well, no matter where you are sitting or what you bring.
While I have eaten at restaurants alone a lot over the last two years for my job, it is something I have done since college. I get the same reaction every time I ask about a solo dinner I had. “Oh my gosh, I could never,”Or “I wish I could do that.”You can’t deny the reality of it: If youwantYou can.
Now that I think about it, it is certainly a skill. But it’s a skill I believe anyone can sharpen if they’re willing to put in the work and feel uncomfortable along the way.
These are the things that I have learned and how they helped me to enjoy being out on my own.
Solo dining isn’t for people who don’t have friends nearby.
You can keep that idea in your mind and pack it up and get rid of it.
I have dined alone in a relationship and with my friends, while also being invited to other plans. Sometimes I just need to take myself out and be reminded that I can function — quite well! — as a single entity whenever I choose to do so.
You’ll be surprised to learn that it is possible to dine out alone. You don’t have to go out with your friends if you want to eat or go out alone.AreIn a situation where it is difficult to find people you can socialize with. It’s actually a great way for you to meet new people. Perhaps you’ve just moved to a new place or are trying to make new friends. (If that’s you, congratulations!) However, there are many other tips and tricks to learn a different skill.
Do not be hard on yourself
If you don’t already enjoy it, it can feel very difficult to be independent in a world where everyone is focused on you. It’s okay to feel awkward and push yourself to be more independent.
Try to keep the negative self-talk to a minimum (direct wisdom from my therapist — you’re all welcome for relaying the advice I paid for). You can be self-conscious if you are mid-meal. Accept the feeling, then take steps to move forward. Order your meal, go to the restroom, look at the menu even if you already ordered — sometimes just switching up my actions can change the way I’m feeling.
Don’t be as strict as if you were learning how to play an instrument. If you are learning a new skill, such as dining alone, it is worth the same amount of practice as any other skill.
As much as you feel like people are looking at you, they won’t.
I can remember feeling like people stared at me when I was first going out on my own. It’s true, no one really cares. Many people become too concerned with their food, their conversation and anything else that isn’t them.
If you feel like you are in a bad dream and you’re at the top of the class, in your underwear I recommend one glance around. Do a full turn if that makes you comfortable, and notice how many people are actually looking back at you — it likely won’t be many, if any at all.
Rachel Askinasi/Insider
Start small. Sit down at the bar, or in public.
It is important to feel comfortable in public places. If you’re not already happy grabbing a coffee and a bagel and sitting on a bench eating it alone, I would recommend starting there.
You can still go to the restaurant if you feel confident. If I’m eating out or just grabbing a drink, the bar is where my comfort zone is. I can talk with the bartender and people-watch from my elevated bar stool. Maybe even make new friends with someone who is dining alone.
Bar or counter seating removes the chair directly in front of you. This is a great way for a server to not ask this frequently-asked question: “Are you waiting for anyone?”
Feel free bring a prop
I find it hard to read in my house so I take my time going out to read a piece of writing that’s been sitting on my shelf. Bring a newspaper, magazine, book or any other type of material. To sketch, doodle or keep a journal, bring a notebook. Whatever it may be, bring something that will help you to settle in. “me time” mode.
I find it hard to listen to music while I’m going out. I feel it closes me off from the rest. I often go out because I want be part of the action.
You should always have your phone handy if you are in an emergency situation. It’s as easy to scroll through Instagram or Twitter and forget that other people are there as it is to scroll mindlessly on the couch.
Mark Edward Atkinson/Tracey Lewis/Getty Images
After you get comfortable with the prop, you can try to remove it.
Once you feel secure holding the book, put it in your bag. You can challenge yourself and get rid of that safety blanket.
People-watching is my favorite prop. I love sitting at a sidewalk table watching the people pass by. Bill Cunningham was a columnist for The New York Times and a photojournalist who died in 2016. “the best fashion show is on the street.”Dining al fresco, according to my experience, is like getting a front-row seat.
It’s like almost everything, it becomes easier and more fun with practice
Although it may seem daunting at first, once you become comfortable with it, it can be very liberating. My experience has been that it’s given me the freedom to eat when and where I want. It sounds absurd, I’m sorry. But not everyone is content to just go to a restaurant when hunger strikes.
It has also helped me in situations when I am alone. It helps me to not feel the urge to use my phone to look busy when a friend or a date goes to the bathroom. It’s something I use when traveling (though safety is always my first priority). I also know where I am in any new location alone. It’s a great skill to have. I am more comfortable sitting down and enjoying my surroundings, which is something I didn’t have before I learned this ability.
You don’t have to be alone, but that doesn’t mean you should not enjoy the experience. There are plenty of very logical, very fair reasons to not go out to eat — like cooking for the sake of health, or the sheer amount of money it costs to dine out. You shouldn’t have to be alone.