IT can be hard to find a man, but perhaps we are instantly turning them off without realizing it.
Myka Meier, an expert in etiquette, has revealed eight common dating faux pas.
Here, Myka, author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, tells Fabulous exactly what you should avoid doing when meeting a man…
1. Asking “so what do you do for a living?”
Inquiring about what someone does for a living as an initial conversation starter can come across as opportunistic and be a major turnoff.
It can be seen almost as if asking someone “so how much money do you make?” or “how successful are you?”
There are many other conversation starters and tactful questions that will tell you about the other person, and likely what they do for a living will come up at some point anyway.
One of my most successful male clients once said if a woman asks him that question on a first date, it’s an automatic red flag, as if how much money or success he has is the first thing they want to know, it’s certainly not the right person for him.
2. Inadequately asking questions about the other person during a first conversation.
These can include “do you want children?” or “do you want to get married?”
If the other person chooses to share very personal or intimate details during a first conversation or date such as their desire to have a family, then let that be their prerogative.
But asking for such intimate details during a first date, phone call or meeting can seem too intrusive, aggressive, or eager to get to know someone.
Focus on the questions that will ensure you have chemistry.
You should be able to identify if they are physically attracted and if there is chemistry when you communicate with them. This will help you determine if it is a mental attraction.
3. Ordering the most expensive thing on a menu
If someone is taking you on a date and it’s clear they are paying, there is nothing ruder than to order the most expensive items on a menu- both food and beverage.
This can make it seem as though you are trying to take advantage of your date’s generosity.
4. Checking out other men
If you are on a date and constantly looking over his shoulder at the next best option, that’s a surefire way to end a date early.
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Not only is it a slap to your date’s ego, but to make your date feel inferior and that you are expressing interest or attraction to other men can show a lack of both interest and loyalty.
5. Telling them you researched them
Nowadays it’s common to date online or googles the person before you meet up.
It doesn’t matter how thorough your research is, it can still be frustrating to learn that someone sitting next to you has done extensive internet searches on him or that his entire family and friends have been following him since before they met up.
It can easily feel like an invasion of privacy, and to admit you already know so much about someone who didn’t tell you details themselves, which can be very off-putting.
6. Talking about your ex
No matter if you are over them or not, your old relationship should not encroach into your potential new one.
Unless he asks, don’t mention your ex…things good or bad. It can show you’re not over them or even bitter…both qualities which could be an immediate turn-off.
7. Talking about yourself too much
There is nothing more boring than a one-way conversation.
Talking about oneself for the duration of a date (or most) is a sign of lack of interest.
It is possible to come across as being self-centered. However, not only does it show a lack of interest in the other person, but also a lack of self-awareness and social skillset.
8. Failure to notify someone in advance if you’re going to be late for a good reason.
Showing up “fashionably late” is not fashionable when it comes to being on a date.
In fact, being late is a disrespect for someone else’s time and is considered rude.
I suggest giving 2 minutes notice to anyone you suspect you might be late for every minute.
Nothing is worse than being at a bar or table and receiving a text from your date 10 minutes later to inform you that they are running 15 minutes behind schedule.
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