James Austin Johnson has returned to Joe Biden Saturday Night Live Tonight,as the president offered his plan to curb Covid.
The show opened with Johnson’s Biden at a lectern, in another speech to the nation, as he leaned into the microphone and said, “There’s one simple thing you can do to make this whole virus go away.”Then he whispered: “Stop seeing Spider-Man.”
“Think about it — when did Spider-Man come out? December 17th. When did every single person get Omicron? The week after December 17th.”
Biden then took questions from the media, shocked at what they had just heard.
One reporter asked, “Did you really just blame the entire spread of Omicron on people seeing Spider-Man?”
“I did. Yes. Next question,” Biden said.
“So you think all Covid will end if people stop going to the movies?”Another reporter was also asked.
Biden replied, “I didn’t say, ‘Don’t go to the movies. I said ‘Stop seeing Spider-Man.’ See anything else. I saw the first half hour of House of Gucci. That’s more than enough movie for anyone.”
Another reporter question: “Is this theory based on any kind of data?”
“Yes, everyone in America has seen Spider-Man like eight times. Everyone in America also has Covid. Stop seeing Spider-Man.”
This skit is the result of a difficult week for Biden. His Omicron variant was widespread, the Supreme Court blocked his employer vaccine mandate, and his agenda stalled at Capitol Hill.
Later on, a reported question was asked. “Have you seen Spider-Man?”
“I couldn’t get tickets, and I am on the stubs A-list,”He said. “Jill and I tried to go last night and they only had one seat left in the front row. What was I supposed to do? Make Jill go see Encanto alone?”
Another reporter asked: “What about experts who say the real problem is a lack of testing?”
Biden replied, “Oh, they’ve tested Spider-Man. 98% on Au Gratin Potatoes.”
Reporters ask President Trump about other problems like voting rights and inflation. He blames them. Spider-Man.
Reporter: “Mr. President, isn’t the real reason you can’t pass the Voting Rights Act because members of your own party refuse to get rid of the filibuster?”
Biden: “It’s true. Spider-Man has his villains. I have Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Only difference is, if one of Spider-Man’s villains saw Kyrsten Sinema, they would say, ‘Hey honey, that outfit is a little much.’”
Finally, a reporter questioned. “Do you think that elsewhere in the multiverse, there’s a version of you that wants people to see Spider-Man?”
Biden replied, “Finally a good question. This was something I thought about a lot. I’m consulting with Dr. Fauci and Doctor Strange. There are at most three Joe Bidens, as far as I know. One of them, me. One of them is Joe Biden, who lost to Trump. Joe Biden hosts the CNBC program called T-Birds and Tacos. There’s a third Joe Biden who was the greatest president in history. My approval ratings are high and I am supported by my part. And I get the show. Euphoria.“
“You’re now saying that we are living in a Spider-Man style multiverse?”The reporter was then asked.
“Doesn’t that make more sense than whatever the hell our current world is?” Biden responded.
Pete Davidson came to the skit, and they played “Joe Biden from the real universe,”Who said to the press “the timeline you are all living in is about to collapse. It was created as a joke starting in 2016 when the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. Now it spiraled out of control and could explode at any minute.”
“Am I the president in this real world?” Biden asked.
Pete Davidson’s Biden responded, “Of course not. Did you really think that you would lose four times and then finally win when you were 78?”