Putin’s bodyguards ‘collect his poo on trips abroad and take it back to Russia in a special suitcase’

Vladimir Putin’s bodyguards collect his excrement on trips abroad and take it back to Russia, a weird report has claimed and now we’ve read it all.

According to sources speaking to investigative journalists and Russia experts Régis Genté and Mikhail Rubin, who were writing for French news magazine Paris Match, his security lads take it to stop people stealing it and using it to get intel on his health.

“An agent had to place Putin’s excrement in pockets provided for this purpose to not leave any trace and bring everything back to the country in a special suitcase,” the report said.

They added that they know of two separate occasions when his waste was “harvested”, – once during the Russian leader’s visit to France in May 2017 and then again in October 2019 while visiting Saudi Arabia.

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It comes amid speculation about the Russian president’s health with various reports suggesting he has a number of different ailments.

Carrying your poo in a suitcase though…more like Vladimir Poo-tin…

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