Owen Wilson was back in business with Pixar, in a sketch tonight on SNL, which saw him looking to reprise his hero role as Lightning McQueen in a fourth Cars film.
At the start of the sketch, Wilson arrives at the studio, only to be greeted by two unnamed studio execs played by Mikey Day and Punkie Johnson.
“There he is, Owen freaking Wilson. Bring it in!” Day’s character says. “Dude, by the way, Loki? You crushed it dude. I haven’t seen it yet, but I hear it’s amazing.”
Wilson notes that he was surprised when he first heard Cars 4 was in the works.
“Yeah, Pixar’s keeping it pretty quiet. I haven’t even seen a full script yet. They’re just sending over little chunks of dialogue, so the animators can start working,” Day’s character explains. “So, that is what we’ll be recording today.”
“Great. Okay, I’m going to jump into the booth. Hey, kachow, right?” says Wilson.
“There it is. Kachow!” responds the studio employee.
All is well, when Wilson first starts reading lines, finding them to be pretty standard—”Radiator Springs, here I come!” being one.
Over time though, the lines he’s set to record become more and more overly inappropriate. “Back off, jackass. I wasn’t looking at your wife!” he says as McQueen. “Calm down, jerkoff. I didn’t touch your daughter. She was coming on to me!”
Eventually, Wilson stops reading to ask about the plot of this upcoming family film. “You know, again, I haven’t seen a full script,” says Day, “but want to keep going?”
Unfortunately, the offending lines only continue from there. “Grow up, man; your sister sure did,” he says, “So what college do you girls go to? Oh, you’re in high school? Could’ve fooled me.”
After reading a line in which Lighting bemoans a “witch hunt” keeping him out of the Piston Cup, as a result of “one bad date,” the actor starts asking questions once again.
“Wait, guys. He’s in court?” he says, to which Day’s employee says, “Yeah, uh, what’s the ish, O?”
“Well the ish is, I think Lightning McQueen is the bad guy in this,” Wilson explains. “It just feels like there’s a lot of him creeping on girl cars and then arguing with their dads and husbands and stuff, and it’s a real departure for the character.”
Again, Day’s character sidesteps Wilson’s concerns. But this time, he brings in Larry the Cable Guy (played by new cast member James Austin Johnson) to read lines opposite his Cars co-star.
“Woohoo, you’s my best friend, Lightning!” says Larry. “That’s why I got so upset when I heard you was calling me the R word.”
Wilson ultimately decides to opt out of the project, given how offensive it is. That is, until he’s shown how much money he’ll be making, if he agrees to return.
“Well then come on. This thing’s not going to record itself,” he says, in aquickabout-face. ” Kachow!”