No One Does it Better: Why James Bond Will Never Dies

The prisoner is strapped down to a table in the villain’s lair, as his megalomaniacal host watches a laser slowly burn its way up towards this captive’s crown jewels. “You expect me to talk?” asks James Bond, staring down a crotch-zapping death ray. “No, Mr. Bond,”The title character GoldfingerResponds flashing an evil smile. “I expect you to die.” It was a reasonable expectation at the time — James Bond was one hero who did not seem built to last, to say the least. Even in the Sixties, he was a dinosaur, defending the honor of a British Empire nobody else even remembered, a spy on Her Majesty’s secret service at a time when the royal family had all the dignity of Herman’s Hermits. Rumours that England has a royal family still on the payroll were not confirmed by press time. Agent 007 did not represent anything about England that was taken seriously by the rest of the globe. As that rock & roll Bond villain Mick Jagger sang, soon after Thunderstorm came out: Baby baby baby, you’re out of time.

Take a look at the man who has the right to kill. James Bond has turned out to be one of those time-traveling pop-culture icons like Batman, Sherlock Holmes, or Joni Mitchell — he bridges every cultural moment from Beatlemania to Brexit, enduring decade after decade by somehow never really fitting in at all. Every generation has its own Bond: Sean Connery in 1960s, Roger Moore 1970s, Pierce Brosnan 1990s, Daniel Craig today. Like Goldfinger, we keep expecting Mr. Bond will die. He surprises us every time he decides to live and let go. Carly Simon wasn’t kidding. Nobody does it better.

Ian Fleming was the one who created 007 for his 1953 novel. Casino Royale,Bond was made for the movies. Connery’s debonair secret agent cool was a 1962 thriller that portrayed Bond. Dr. He lives in a fantasy world where every day is a jet-set adventure full of guns, gadgets, sports cars, space-age bachelor pads, and disposable darlings with names like Pussy Galore and Plenty O’Toole. And despite his well-traveled sperm cells having sired no children, he always comes equipped with the world’s worst dad jokes. After jumping from a plane in, Moonraker Bond is asked by his paramour — Lois Chiles playing an astrophysicist named Dr. Holly Goodhead — if he’s broken anything. He grimacedly takes off his rumpled costume and replies. (*()“Only my tailor’s heart.”Bond became a cultural obsession during the 1960s. At a time when England’s greatness consisted mostly of cranking out pop stars and inventing miniskirts, James Bond was fighting a Cold War that nobody else seemed to notice England was even invited to join. What? The Brits wanted to invade Connecticut? He was convinced that Soviet troops would soon invade Croydon, Wakefield, Shaftesbury. That was the joke implicit in his code name — the idea that there were at least six more of these jokers running around the world. At a time when the U.K.’s shameful colonial legacy was visible from Belfast to Biafra, 007 was a last stand for the fantasy that deep down in her heart, Queen Victoria really did love them all.

But his appeal didn’t stop at the Thames. JFK was famously a fan — just like Don Draper, who kept

You Only Live OnceHis bedside table. The movies barely had time to get going before they inspired brilliant parodies like James Coburn’s Our Man Flint and Dean Martin’s The Silencers.Even the Beatles were a bit smug about it when they made their second movie. Please help!It was years before Ringo got married to a Bond Girl. From 007, every corner of pop culture is only a few degrees away. He’s spawned entire music genres (acid jazz, trip hop), countless rap videos, and the classic Motown oldie, Edwin Starr’s not to mention the Beastie Boys’ “Agent Double-O Soul,”Licensed to Ill.Part of being a fan is arguing over the canon — everybody’s got their picks for the grooviest Bond theme, the coolest Bond Girl, the smoothest villain, the nastiest henchman. (The correct answers are: Nancy Sinatra’s

Jane Seymour in “You Only Live Twice,”Let Die and Live,Auric Goldfinger and, of course, Jaws. Sean Connery, still grumpiest Bond, is still laughing at his own jokes. An iconic, timeless character. Russia with LoveHe discovers that his fellow agent is a KGB imposter. His bossy-bottom pout made movies even better. “Red wine with fish. That should have told me something.”You Only Live Once (where he beats up the Rock’s grandfather) or Diamonds are Forever (where his Bond girl is Henry Kissinger’s real-life side-piece). The Eighties, also known as. The Eighties, also known as the The years were difficult for the franchise but Duran Duran survived. “let’s get A-ha to do the theme song”MTV Video: They blew up Eiffel Tower. Those were different times.“A View to a Kill,”The Nineties were the James Bond decade, as the shagadelic 007 sensibility saturated the culture more than ever. Pierce Brosnan rescued the film franchise, but the true Bondian spirit lay elsewhere: in the louch Britpop of Pulp and Blur, the boom of Cocktail Nation retro chic, the Cool Britannia cult of Tony Blair’s New Labour, the way record collectors and film directors obsessed over vintage lounge exotica, the Spice Girls. The decade’s realest Bond trip was, in fact, Mike Myers’ Austin Powers comedies, brilliantly using 007 as a poster boy for the cultural irrelevance of masculinity. Bond was revealed as a creampuff and went up against Dr. Evil. Austin Powers walked so Daniel Craig would be able to run.

Judi Dench’s M once called Bond

She was just a bit late. Bond was just as irrelevant to the Cold War crisis as any other in today’s ever-changing world. Yet, somehow, he turned out to be one of the 20th century’s most lasting obsessions. He’s always the only one who doesn’t realize how ridiculous he is — “a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War.”that’sHis superpower. Just when we’re expecting him to finally grant Goldfinger’s wish, he manages to find a way to escape and die another day.TOP FIVE MOVIES ON BOND:


(1964).(*()This is the ultimate Sean Connery adventure and the first James Bond movie made before they knew that the franchise was a success. Bond travels the world to stop an absurd plot to rob Fort Knox from the Eurotrash madman Goldfinger. He is the archest of archvillains. He tangles with Honor Blackman as the fierce Pussy Galore — not to mention the hat-throwing assassin Odd Job. It was all It is really
This is where it all begins. Only Live Once


The baroquest of Bond films; there’s a deep melancholy under all the lavish action, right down to Nancy Sinatra’s bone-chilling torch song. Undercover in Japan, 007 pretends to be dead and meets Kissy Suzuki, a ninja. Donald Pleasance plays Ernest Blofeld, SPECTRE mastermind, and steals the show. With a monocle burnt into his face, Blofeld plots to take over the world.
The Spy Who Lovingly Loved Me


A.K.A. Roger Moore’s greatest hit. As Triple X, a KGB agent, Moore meets Barbara Bach. He soars in the iconic opening ski-and parachute jump and fights The seven-footer with the metal teeth.
Twilight Zone“Jaws,” legend Richard Kiel. Jaws was a fan favourite, and he returned to be a good guy. MoonrakerBonus: Carly Simon belting World is Not Enough“Nobody Does It Better.”


One of the best Pierce Brosnan movies, featuring Sophie Marceau playing a femma fatae and Robert Carlyle portraying a Russian creep that resembles Putin. And for gritty realism, Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist named Dr. Christmas Jones — it’s arguably the franchise’s all-time most awesomely terrible acting. Final scene: Bond and her kiss the sheets. Bond quips.
Casino Royale“I thought Christmas only comes once a year.”


Everyone assumed that the franchise had ended after the Brosnan years. Enter Daniel Craig. Despite the casting controversy — fans were outraged to learn he couldn’t drive a stick shift in real life — Craig not only revived the film series, he gave 007 some actual emotional depth. Eva Green proves to be a far more fearsome spy that he really is, which makes him the killer he is at the end when he finally introduces his self.

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