We’ve been dealing for months with selfish idiots who refuse to get vaccinated against COVID-19 and, as a result, are directly responsible for hundreds of thousands of needless deaths. But on Wednesday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Kimmel stumbled on a branding solution that might have what it takes to get at least a few of those lunatics to stop harming their communities.
He also reiterated his call to meet Nicki Minaj, a Trinidadian who claims to have suffered from severe swelling of his testicles following a COVID-19 injection. We are open to the idea.
Okay, COVID branding. Kimmel began his monologue talking about flu season, and urged viewers not to get vaccinated. And that’s when he brought up his (we admit it) pretty good idea.
“You know, I was thinking about it – for years, people have just been getting the flu shot. It wasn’t a big deal. And I think that’s because we call it the flu shot – and not the flu vaccine,” Kimmel stated. “Even though it is a vaccine. “Vaccine” sounds controversial now – whereas shot just sounds like something you do on Spring Break so…”
“Let’s just call it- I think I just solved Covid,” Kimmel continued.
Kimmel then moved to the news that YouTube had finally cracked down on spreading dangerous lies about COVID-19 vaccines after 18 months. And that’s how Kimmel got to the Nicki Minaj guy again.
“You know, YouTube is finally doing something to slow down the vaccine misinformation train,” He said. “They are removing – major anti-vaccine propagandists from the platform – to prevent them from continuing to spread false information. Better 18-months late than never, I guess.”
“So far YouTube has banned more than 133,000 videos – that contain covid misinformation. Which sounds like a lot of videos, but at least half of those were about Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s giant balls,” He continued.
“And where are those balls? I demand to see them. That’s a loose end that needs to be tied up,” Kimmel joked. Kimmel laughed.
Surely you remember the whole saga, but if not, long story short: On Sep. 13 Minaj announced she wouldn’t be going to the Met Gala because of the event’s vaccine requirement. Then after getting clowned by thousands online, she claimed that her cousin in Trinidad won’t get it because of his friend, the aforementioned man with swollen testicles. She continued to tweet through it, at one point falsely claiming she’d been suspended from Twitter. It was, uh., quite a bit.
Experts unanimously agree that her story was false. COVID-19 vaccinations don’t cause side effects that are associated with STDs.
Anyway back on Sep. 16, Kimmel invited Minaj and the — almost certainly not real — still unidentified man to appear on his show to clear the whole thing up. She didn’t accept alas. Maybe this time?
Kimmel also talked about the NBA’s problem of antivaxx players, and the congressional conservatorship hearings inspired by Britney Spears. The entire monologue can be viewed above.