Any parent will tell you that you make a seemingly countless number of decisions every day to ensure the safety, comfort, and well-being of your little one.
But one of the very first decisions you ever make as a parent-to-be is when to announce your pregnancy.
Ultimately, the best time is what feels right for both parents. However, there are a number of things to consider first.
Some people who are pregnant announce very early, right after they get a blood or urine test confirmed from their doctor.
One thing to consider is that your chance of miscarrying is higher in the first several weeks after conception than at any other time in your pregnancy.
If you decide to announce early and do miscarry, this can help you pool support from friends and family.
At six weeks you can get a confirmation ultrasound that shows “a fetus with a heartbeat,” says Renee Wellenstein, DO, who is a double board-certified OB-GYN and founder at Kaspira Elite Health Consulting, LLC.
You may also want to share within the first six weeks if you work where there may be physical or occupational hazards — like work with harmful chemicals in a lab — you need to adjust for during your pregnancy.
Or certainly, if you are “feeling really sick or having early complications which cause them to miss work or social engagements,” says Leena Nathan, MD, an OB-GYN for UCLA Health.
Some early symptoms you might experience can include nausea, vomiting, and fatigue.
Plus, sharing earlier can also be wonderful for soon-to-be parents who want support in the beginning stages, perhaps because it’s their first pregnancy.
After the first trimester, at the end of week 12, your risk of miscarriage drops dramatically. That’s also when “another ultrasound confirms that the fetus is growing well and that there is no [visual] evidence of genetic issues,” says Nathan.
That ultrasound is also picture-perfect for sharing. By this point, your fetus starts to “look like a baby and is the ideal photographic time,” says Wellenstein.
Wellenstein adds, “if an expectant mother is undergoing additional genetic screening, that happens around nine to 11 weeks.”
“Sometimes women have a higher risk pregnancy which can predispose to complications throughout the pregnancy,” says Nathan. Some factors that might cause a higher risk pregnancy include:
You do not need to tell your family, friends, or employer at the same time that you are pregnant.
If you are experiencing noticeable pregnancy symptoms early on and it’s causing you stress, you may choose to let a handful of trusted people know before making a more public announcement. This support early on may be helpful for your emotional well-being during pregnancy.
Here are some suggestions for telling different people in your life that you’re pregnant:
You might choose to tell your close family first. That way, if anything happens, you will have their support.
However, that decision is completely up to you and largely comes down to you and the dynamics of your relationship.
There are plenty of cute and creative ways to tell your friends that you’re expecting, like surprising them with a bottle of wine and telling them to “drink one” for you.
You might also choose to be straightforward with them, especially if you want to be sensitive around any friends who have experienced pregnancy complications.
For friends and family who you aren’t as close to or who live far away, posting your announcement on social media or sending out a card or e-card can be an easy way to cover all your bases.
Pregnancy discrimination is real, which is why some professionals may feel it’s personally wiser to wait until they start showing, at around 20 weeks.
There’s no specific time when you have to let your employer know about your pregnancy. But, you may need to communicate it to your manager sooner if you’re taking time off for appointments or have pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness that are affecting your work schedule.
When navigating your pregnancy at work, know that you are protected and have certain rights:
A final note: Before announcing, you may want to have a good idea of how much time you’d like to take off before and after the birth. To help with that, look up your company’s maternity leave policy. A Better Balance also recommends coming with a plan to help your coworkers prepare for your maternity leave.
When you choose to announce your pregnancy is a personal decision between you and your partner.
Announcing sooner than later, around six weeks, can establish early support. It also might help if you need to make any adjustments at work.
Waiting until 11 or 12 weeks will give you time to get more test results and ultrasounds to assess the health of your pregnancy. Around 12 weeks is also when the risk of miscarriage drops significantly.
If you have a high-risk pregnancy — for example, if you’re carrying multiples, have experienced a prior miscarriage, or have any health conditions — you might feel safest waiting to announce until after 12 weeks, or until you start showing, closer to 20 weeks.
Taking all these factors into consideration, doctors advise that ultimately the best time to announce is when it feels right to you.