Hey did you have fun mocking the news about M&Ms today? Stephen Colbert also had fun mocking the news about M&Ms today. He used it as inspiration for a cold-open gag celebrating his show. “one candy brand refusing to change its overly sexualized character.”
So context: On Thursday, Mars Wrigley, the snack food giant that among other things owns M&Ms, announced that the M&Ms mascots — you know, the anthropomorphic, slightly cannibalistic M&Ms — will be getting a makeover to reflect a “more dynamic, progressive world.”
This is what it basically means the female M&M characters will be less cartoonishly sexualized, with Green exchanging her go-go boots for sneakers, and the ad campaigns dropping the occasional antagonistic relationship plot for a more supportive friendship. Also, the M&M characters will also reflect a wider range of body types.
It’s 2022 so you won’t be surprised to learn that this has provoked a ton of discussion and mockery. It might surprise you to learn that mockery is actually from Over the political spectrum. Stephen Colbert is also included. “The Late Show” writers.
This brings us to the cold open gag. It’s a super-sexual re-edit. “how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop” ad campaign from the 1960s and ’70s.
In the original ad, a young boy asks an owl named Mr. Owl how many licks it takes; Mr. Owl, clearly a selfish jerk, takes the Tootsie Pop from the boy and declares it takes three licks — because he then uses his beak to break the Tootsie Pop to get to the center.
Colbert Parody: Things go a little differently
“Let’s fine out,” Mr. Owl says in a deep, sexy baritone voice. “One. Two. Threesome. Foreplay. 69.”
“I’m confused,”The young boy speaks up.
“You see, owls say ‘who,’ but I say ‘who wants to take a ride on Mr. Owl’s magic beak of pleasure.”
“I’m gonna need therapy,”Before he walks off, the boy speaks. We get a new slogan to use with the candy. “Tootsie Pop: Suck our ball.”
It’s available below:
You can see how selfish and savage Mr. Owl was in the original commercial.