My friend from long ago asked me to be her surrogate. I felt awkward about it. I never imagined she would do what she did when I refused, and it changed my life.
Emma and I have been friends since childhood. We were both in the same school and quickly became close friends. Our bond was strong even when we went to university. This is especially due to the fact that we discovered something unusual in our 20s.
Both Emma and I had health issues, making it difficult and risky for us to get pregnant. But that didn’t deter our dreams. Emma wanted to be a mother, but I was more reserved.
Eric was in her twenties when she met Eric. Both were ready to marry and start a family. I was so proud of her and she made me her Maid Of Honor at her wedding. They got together immediately and Emma was pregnant just a few weeks later.
Unfortunately, the baby died, which devastated her. “Emma, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But when you’re ready, you’ll have a miracle, baby,” I consoled her as she cried on my shoulders.
“You think so, Gina? I don’t know if I could go through this pain again,” She wept.
“No! Don’t think about that. You have to be positive, and I’ll be there for you always,” I added.
Emma and her husband tried for many years without success. After a year of dating Alex, I met Alex and we were married. Emma also had to hear that we were trying for a baby.
“Alex and I are going to try for a baby soon. I hope it’s ok with you?”I told her.
“Why wouldn’t it be? Of course, Gina! You want to be a mom too. My fertility issues are not your issues. We both have health problems, though. It might not be easy. You guys have to be careful,” She encouraged me. Her response was a relief.
A few months later, I was pregnant, and just as previous doctors had said, it was risky. At five months I was placed on bed rest, but I still managed to carry full term. Emma was there to support me through the birth of Kennedy.
“Emma, would you like to come over and catch up? You can see Ken. He’s growing so fast,” I spoke to her over the phone.
“Oh…hmm…I’m so busy with work right now,” She replied.
“Please, can you come? I’m so tired of not having any other human interaction. The baby doesn’t let me sleep, and I would love to see you!”I laughed and hoped that she would follow my lead.
“Ugh. At least you have a baby!”She snapped angrily, and she hung up. I was stunned. I didn’t know she was mad at me. I didn’t know what to do after that reaction, so I backed off and waited for her to reach out to me.
Alex and I also discussed something that our doctor had warned us about. He told us that if we were to have more children, it would need to be before I get older and my problems worsen. “Maybe we should start trying soon, Alex,” I told my husband.
“Don’t worry about that now, sweetheart. You have a newborn baby, and if we don’t have more kids, that’s fine by me. I wouldn’t want to risk your health further,” He responded.
“I really want another one. I don’t want Kennedy to grow up without siblings as I did,” I added.
“Ok, if that’s what you want, we’ll start trying. But we’re going to the doctor and staying in touch with him the entire process,” Alex continued. We were pleased with this decision.
Emma called once more after the phone call. She was sorry. Emma wanted to visit me and discuss something. So we were both calm, we sat down and I made tea.
“Listen. I know I apologized on the phone, but I want to do it again. I was out of line. It’s just…I’ve been so jealous of you since Kennedy was born. He’s so beautiful,” Emma started.
“I’m so sorry. I’ve been so busy that I couldn’t see what you were going through,” I was able to answer.
“Well, you’re a new mom, and it’s not just that. Eric doesn’t seem to want a baby at all anymore. Not with me, at least. I don’t know what to do,” She went on. “I think he might leave me for another woman.”
“No! Emma, don’t think like that!”I exclaimed.
“I think he might be cheating already. If he gets another woman pregnant…I don’t know what I’ll do,” She started to cry. “That’s why I came to talk to you. I need to have a baby. I need you to be my surrogate.”
“What?!”I was shocked.
“Please, Gina. You have no idea what it’s like at home. I need a baby to save my marriage. You have to help me. You can do it!”Emma was so encouraging.
“I can’t, Emma. I’m sorry. Alex and I are talking about having another child. And the doctors said I had to hurry and do it now. I don’t know if I could go through a third pregnancy,” I explained.
“Gina! You already have a child! You can’t be this selfish! I need this baby! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! You and Alex can wait!”Emma began screaming.
“Hush! You’re going to wake Kennedy. Please, Emma, stop. I’m sorry. I can’t help you,” I was able to answer.
“I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU HAVE A MISCARRIAGE AND KNOW THE PAIN I WENT THROUGH!”She screamed at my face and ran. Her words changed everything. I didn’t get how she could wish such pain on someone else.
Still, I felt so guilty. Did I really make that choice? My husband was furious when he heard the news and he decided to break all ties.
Alex and I had Ellie two years later. It was more difficult than my first pregnancy. It was exhausting labor that lasted hours and ended up in a C-section. I bled so bad that doctors had to perform an entire hysterectomy.
After that, I realized the decision I made years ago was the right one. I wouldn’t have Ellie if I agreed to be Emma’s surrogate.
Surprisingly Emma called Kennedy and left a message when Kennedy turned six. “Gina, I don’t hope to earn your forgiveness for my words the last time we saw each other, but I apologize regardless. I regret what I said, and I am now able to accept it.
“I divorced Eric because he was, in fact, cheating on me. But I got lucky. I became a foster parent, and I have finally adopted a beautiful girl. I know from your Instagram that you have a daughter now. I wanted to take that from you, and I’m sorry.
“I was the selfish one. I can’t even forgive myself for asking something so big out of you back then. Anyway, that’s what I wanted to say. I hope your family is doing amazing, and you have all the happiness in the world.”
I smiled because she sounded like Emma who was once my best friend. Although I was happy for her, I wouldn’t invite her back into my life. But I wish the best for her.
- Jealousy is one of the worst feelings in this world. Jealousy is a natural emotion. It’s ok as long as you don’t let that feeling control everything else. You may lose someone you love.
- Don’t blame others for what’s wrong in your life. You can’t blame others for what happens in your life. Emma called Gina selfish because they couldn’t control it and lost her friend forever.
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