By Michael Walsh
Once the fiery explosions settle and the screen is clean of blood and guts, all that’s left of Sylvester Stallone’s highly hyped-up action blockbuster The Expendables is a largely forgettable yet still serviceable mindless romp through the fictional island of Vilena, amped by quite possibly the most typecasted ensemble cast in the history of Hollywood.
Stallone’s The Expendables was supposed to be the manliest of them all; the action film that makes other action films tremble in its leather boots. But when you get over the gnarly gore and the randomly interconnected action sequences, Stallone’s film is in one ear and out the other, not creating more than a few merely okay moments of intestinal fortitude to leave impressed with.
The film was touted as having one of the best action casts you might have ever laid witness to, but when you realize that part of that star-studded cast is former wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin, UFC fighter Randy Couture and former football player Terry Crews, the excitement quickly subsides and rests on the shoulders of headliners Sly Stallone and Jason Statham. While Jet Li makes a formidable addition to the group and Dolph Lundgren is just kind of silly to look at, other tough guy Mickey Rourke completely sits out of the action, resorting to drawing tattoos and telling old war stories, a complete disappointment of what could have been a brilliant casting of a great actor who has turned a corner in his up and down career. The film’s best scene is when Stallone is joined on screen with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh what a film it could have been with a committed John McClane and Terminator in focus.
The Expendables will absolutely fill the summer’s quota for blood, guts, gore and dead bodies, but it doesn’t do so in a memorable way. The film’s plot is largely forgettable and is not even enjoyable in an absurd way. A motley group of secretive war veterans team up and head to a small island to overthrow a dictator and the ex-CIA controlling him, all the while trying to save a damsel in distress. Each character in the Stallone-penned screenplay has a personality and background that falls off the face of the earth by the film’s conclusion. These characters are so secretive to their mission and their pasts that the deepest we get are a few muddy war stories and botched relationships. Give me something to remember them from outside of their possibly plastic faces, popping veins and deep bronze tans.
And in the end, isn’t that what this film is about? The characters and personas that made some of these actors the biggest of the literally biggest action stars of the 1980′s? None of these characters will have a legacy like those of Hollywood’s past, and this comes at the expense of the film’s decision to ignore even the slightest character development and personality. Even a tweak here and a tweak there of emotional toil would have made for a much more memorable and long-living film. Jean-Claude Van Damme wasn’t kidding when he turned down a part in the film because there was no substance in the character.
Not much is being said in Stallone’s kill for the sake of it joy ride, but there was so much more that could have been said as Stallone’s screenplay balanced on the line of full-on action film and a sort of self-reflective meditation on old age, similar to Van Damme’s wonderful film JCVD. But while Stallone was busy juggling acting, directing and writing, the film seemed to be unable to make up its mind. It’s disappointing in many ways, as Stallone has writing credits on the classic First Blood, which introduced us to John Rambo for the first and definitely not last time. Even Stallone’s 2008 Rambo was a thoughtful, maintained and explosive action film. Stallone seemed to be literally juggling the camera, as the film’s action sequences often fall prey to the modern plague that is shaky cam. The same terrible camerawork that plagued titles such as the latest Bond film has seemed to infected Stallone’s sense of judgement, leading to even more meaningless action sequences pieced together one-by-one in whatever order they felt appropriate.
And I realize that if a film accomplishes what the creators set out to do that you cut it a little slack in other production areas. But I’m also not so sure that The Expendables did accomplish everything it aimed to be. Perhaps one’s personal expectations of explosions, blood, more explosions and more blood are met, but I don’t think Stallone wanted it to leave viewer’s minds so quickly. There’s no doubt this film sold well on its star power, but these big names and this film’s success was created on the genius of other films and is the only reason this film wasn’t released as a B-grade level action film with a wasted budget. The attempted concoction of tough guys is underwhelming and just doesn’t work. It’s like if I poured my favorite 12 beers together in a pot and decided to drink it. It won’t make for a miracle.
